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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Yo! What's the dumbest Sylvester Stallone movie?

Sylvester Stallone has occasionally made respectable comeback bids, most notably as part of the all-star ensemble in James Mangold’s Copland. The Expendables, opening Friday, clearly does not make a bid for respectability and traffics in nostalgia for the stupid action spectacles of Stallones 1980s heyday. Sly teams up with other notable fireball out-runners as Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis (uncredited), Arnold Schwarzenegger (in a cameo) and Stallone’s Rocky IV opponent Dolph Lundgren. But where’s Chuck Norris?

Stallone's eighth as a director, The Expendables would have to K.O. many contenders to qualify as his dumbest film. Perhaps the worst premise belongs to Rhinestone: Dolly Parton takes a My Fair Lady-type bet to make a goofball cabbie into a country singer. Over the Top, summed up as Rocky with arm wrestling, features the dumbest conclusion, with Stallone bellowing like a brontosaurus in the final grapple. Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot! is self-explanatory. Cobra, which taps Stallone as a particularly lunk-headed supercop, might be seeing a kitschy resurgence: the poster turns up in The Other Guys, and it inspired the opening set piece of The Spongebob Squarepants Movie. For this poll, let's disqualify the Saturday Night Fever sequel Staying Alive, since Stallone only directed it.

Vote after the jump.


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