Tuesday, October 12, 2010

"Real Housewives" Ep. 2 is a white girl in a black girl's body

Posted By on Tue, Oct 12, 2010 at 5:15 PM

Kim: Look, Im not tardy to your party!Kandi: Wow, Kim. Your hair looks great
  • NBC Universal
  • Kim: Look, I'm not tardy to your party!
    Kandi: Wow, Kim. Your hair looks great
It's funny how quickly seemingly normal human beings can get acclimated to the "reality" of reality TV. This is most apparent in the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" second episode, where they introduce new character Cynthia Bailey. Cynthia is gorgeous, a former supermodel who moved from New York to Atlanta to be with her fiance, the much much older Peter Thomas of the now-closed Uptown Supper Club. The producers first put Cynthia with Nene, taking a stroll through Piedmont Park, where she asked Neens about her life. Nene automatically opened up about her marriage trouble and issues with Dwight. Seems kind of weird for someone you just met, but Cynthia awkwardly tries to run with it, faking enthusiasm. Then Cynthia hosts a party for Kandi to perform some new ballads off her upcoming CD. The two girls sit on the couch, and Kandi instinctively opens up about her story line this season. Now remember, Kandi was the new girl last season and in the beginning, she was not this adept to "reality" behavior. She thought Kim was a real friend for God sakes! But oh how times change. Kandi is now used to this Bravo stuff, ready to spill about Kim or her deceased fiance as soon as the cameras are rolling. Soon, we can hope, Cynthia will be a pro at this reality TV stuff too.

This whole alternate-reality "you" is like being a white girl in a black girl's body. It sounds unnatural, but if you think it'll score you more air time on a show, you do it and you make it look normal. For Sheree, though, it is natural. With the help of her gay BFF Lawrence, whose outfits get more and more hideous each episode, Sheree prepares for her first date in ages. The man in question wants to take her dancing, but Sheree hates dancing. "I don't dance," she spits out in a rush. "I am a white girl in a black girl's body." But this is new Sheree, Sheree who takes time out for herself, since she obviously didn't do that enough beforehand. In fact, she says she's been so busy with She by Sheree and being a social climber that she never have time to meet menz. Tiy-E Muhammad, her date, sends for a car to pick her up and take her to his favorite dancing joint. Sheree gets dropped off in the middle of the ghetto, or maybe just somewhere outside of her Duluth subdivision, and she's mortified. "I could have worn my tennis shoes," she at first says. But she ends up giving in to the balding Tiy-E, and they dance the night away ... which is almost worse than watching your parent dance.

Music superstar Kim got a call from a party promoter, perhaps the only people in the whole world more scummy than her, to perform at the annual gayapalooza "White Party." Brielle, with her mouth closed this time, wasn't too excited, but Kim freaked. She said she wanted to bring Kandi to the event because she knows all about the music industry, but I have a feeling it's to make Kandi jealous. Writing Kandi this many times in a blog post, it feels like I'm writing about a backwoods stripper. Before the big call though, Kim went on a jog with her assistant Sweetie in sparkly tight tops. Perfect exercise wear. They saw a beer truck across the street making a delivery, so they ran across the four-lane road ("Jaywalking! I don’t want to go to jail!" Kim yelled louder than any time she's fought with Nene) and scored a bottle of free beer. Kim said the score made it the best day of her life. Sweetie spilled on herself.

Soon it was time for Kandi's big party. Would Kim be tardy for the party? No! She got there at a reasonable time with her wig all a-mess. Seriously, that janky wig made her look like she was on crack. She even told Kandi that, Look! I'm here on time! Wow, what a great friend Kim is. Earlier Kandi revealed to recording star Ne-Yo (who I shamefully confuse with Chris Brown sometimes) that she's pissed at Kim. They had a gentleman's agreement to split the money from "Tardy for the Party," but "Real Housewives" is nothing but ungentlemanly. Kim ended up keeping all the money (up to $100,000, which is hard to believe) and Kandi got nadda. For Kim, it was like taking kandi from a baby har har har.

Nene then makes it to Kandi's performance and walks right past Duh-wight's table, completely ignoring him. The girls are all overly loud as to look like they're having fun without Dwight, like he's never pulled that trick before. He invented that trick! But after Kandi's grand performance, Nene pulls Duh-wight aside getting him to agree to a private conversation. So with a few cameras in their face, they settled out the lending Gregg money situation. "It was man to man," Dwight said, referring to the blowjob he got in the bathroom of the Uptown Supper Club, but that didn't assuage Nene's concerns. Like Sheree, Dwight is a black girl in a white man's body. She ended up breaking down and crying, saying that he hasn't been there for her when she needed him.

Bryce, Nene's son, is gross and lazy. He doesn't do dishes, he doesn't take out the trash, he doesn't have a job, he isn't in school, and best of all, he got arrested for visiting his friend in prison and having marijuana in his pocket. He didn't remember it was there, he claims, making it all better. She had no choice but to kick him out of the house, but he still doesn't get it. "You're too strict," he tells her. Listen, no one crosses Nene. If I were him, I would have been terrified to ever get Nene mad at me. All those Housewives could cut you. But so Duh-wight hasn't been there to comfort Nene, instead he's hanging out with his new lawyer BFF Phaedra who—surprise—dates an ex-convict. Allegedly. Nene and Duh-wrong hugged it out, but all is not forgiven.

Have you guys watched the first two episodes of "The A-List", the "gay househusbands of New York" show from the same creators of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta?" Well I love it, obviously, but I am so sick of people acting like the show is putting the gay rights movement back decades, as I've heard many times from many people. That's like saying "The Real Housewives" is bad for Atlanta, or for women, or whatever. Maybe it is, but you can't dumb down everything for fear of how the stupidest portion of society will take it. I mean, how much dumber can these shows get? For one thing, no bigot straight person is watching Logo, the channel that airs "The A-List." But more importantly, there are tons of gay guys like the ones portrayed on the show. Sure they aren't the most classy members of gay culture, but they exist, and in large numbers in New York, so get over it. You can't hate them. They're like Sheree, except they're just white girls in white girl's bodies.

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