Creative Loafing Atlanta

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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Media CL announces massive gift to city, puts AJC's $50 million donation to shame

Posted by Thomas Wheatley @thomaswheatley on Wed, Nov 10, 2010 at 9:10 AM

IT KEEPS GIVING Newspapers gift could open new doors, remind city it still exists

thomas wheatley
IT KEEPS GIVING Newspaper's gift could open new doors, remind city it still exists

Not to be outdone by Cox Enterprises' donation of the former AJC building, CL is proud to announce a large, no-strings-attached gift to the City of Atlanta, the bustling burg that's provided the free weekly newspaper with countless opportunities to commit libel for nearly 40 years.

And because it's apparently appropriate for a newspaper to bestow riches upon the city whose activities and officials it's supposed to monitor, we only thought we should do the same.

"We at Creative Loafing cannot compete with a $50 million gift to the city," said CL Editor Mara Shalhoup. "But we have our own charms and trinkets to offer."

Among those charms and trinkets pulled from storage closets and staffers' desks: a ceramic smoking baby, a Rudy Giuliani (?) mask, a urine sample container and free copy of the most recent issue.

After the jump, we offer snapshots of these gifts, which when viewed in total really express our heartfelt thanks. Please let us know who should sign for the package at City Hall. We're serious.

These rap-themed potato chips have been sitting on this desk since I arrived at CL three years ago. Bottle of NyQuil is all yours, too.

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How well do you know your workers? Find out by asking them to urinate in this plastic container.

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Great for Councilwoman Cleta Winslow's ~~campaign events~~ community picnics!

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Perfect place to store future gifts!

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Across Atlanta, an estimated 23 million babies are chain smoking. Show you're serious about this issue by carrying this little critter, and his accompanying pack of cigarettes, to media events.

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CL resident acupuncturist Gwynedd Stuart offers you a free copy of our most recent issue.

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This He-Man action figure, which from looking at his beautifully sculpted body is probably pretty recent, makes a lewd gesture with his right hand when you press a button on his forearm. Really wish we had an animated GIF to show you.

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The next time CBS Atlanta waits for you outside City Hall, you can wear this mask to confuse the reporters and escape their Tough Questions™.

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This gold shoe — there's just one — has been sitting next to our fax machine for years. We want you to have it.

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Here's a photo of an awkward encounter between CL gremlin Glenn LaFollette and Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock.

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Even cities get hungry!

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Even cities catch colds!

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The mayor recently told CL he's lately been listening to Jay Z and such older artists as Pebbles. Might we present a Snoop Dogg-approved remastered edition of Master P's "Ghetto D?"

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We picked this rock up during one of our hikes of the Beltline. Learn up on this thing because it might be a biggie!

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We think its eyes might be raisins.

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Every elected official — be they councilmember, mayor, commissioner, whatever — needs a prop. This is for Councilman C.T. Martin.

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We're gonna go ahead and say that Online Manager Ed Adams is cool with you selecting one (1) figurine from his desk. Perhaps even this piggy bank? Guess where you insert the coins!

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Plus some more shit, including a tank top and mousepad.

There's plenty more stuff. Please let security know so we don't have to tussle.

Tags: CITY HALL, AJC, 72 Marietta Street, GIFTS, Warm and Fuzzies, Hugs and Kisses, Shits and Giggles

Comments (4)

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I've got an IKEA bag (large size) full of barely-used Webkinz my kid's outgrown now. They can hand 'em out for emotional support to anyone who's facing the traumatic ordeal of having to sit through or speak at an Atlanta City Council committee meeting.

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Posted by SpaceyG on 11/10/2010 at 9:22 AM

Hey, that's my bug-eyed alien! I've been looking ALL OVER for him.

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Posted by K Edelstein on 11/12/2010 at 2:35 PM

Rudy Guilliani or raisin eye guy?

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Posted by InAtl on 11/12/2010 at 2:54 PM

Please package up and mail to:

Hon. M. Kasim Reed
Mayor, City of Atlanta
55 Trinity Ave, SW
Atlanta, Georgia 30303

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Posted by SilentBob on 11/12/2010 at 3:25 PM

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