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Monday, January 17, 2011

5 Things We Learned Watching the Golden Globes

“I’ve created an atmosphere where I’m a friend first, boss second. Probably entertainer third.”
  • Golden Globes
  • “I’ve created an atmosphere where I’m a friend first, boss second. Probably entertainer third.”

It's been less than 24 hours since the Golden Globes wrapped.

Anyone can offer a recap the show by giving a simple index of the winners.

In the intervening hours, with time to reflect, we've come up with 5 take away lessons from Hollywood's Oscar dress rehearsal.

1. Hollywood Doesn't Have a Sense of Humor
Second time host Ricky Gervais delivered a razor-sharp opening monologue included direct shots at many of Hollywood's sacred cows.

In his cross hairs:
* The Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie critically derided star vehicle The Tourist ("I haven't even seen it...Who has?");
* Charlie Sheen ("It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking...Or as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast."),
* Two famous scientologists whose names rhyme with Dom Schmooze and San Bravolta ("In I Love You, Phillip Morris, Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor are heterosexual actors who play gay characters...So the complete opposite of some Scientologists, then.")

and

* Hugh Hefner, using ATL produced hit series "The Walking Dead" as his sledgehammer, calling the series, "an analogy for Hugh Hefner's impending nuptials."

While some of the jokes were a bit obvious—the Sex in the City women are old; the fat guy in "Lost" is fat—the overall feeling at home (and to those with a sense of humor in the room )is that the self-important Hollywood lot could stand to be taken down a notch or two.

Unlike the Oscars, which are a decidedly a more formal and regal affair, the Golden Globes have historically been more free form. The setting is more intimate. The room is cozier. Everyone is seated at tables, not in a massive theatre.

And alcohol is served.

Which tends to loosen up the rules.

Some seemed not to be in on the joke.

Gervais observed that Robert Downey, Jr's career, filled with titles like Iron Man, Two Girls and a Guy, and Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang, sounded like that of a porn star, before landing the zinger, "but you probably know him better from the Betty Ford Clinic."

Downey retorted, "Aside from the fact that it's been hugely mean-spirited with mildly sinister undertones, I'd say the vibe of the show has been pretty good so far, wouldn't you?"

After Gervais bit the proverbial hand that feeds him—his introduction of Hollywood Foreign Press Association president Philip Berk "I just had to help him off the toilet and pop his teeth in”—he seemed to disappear from the show completely.

Ricky Business
  • The Webs
  • Ricky Business

The Twitter hashtags #wheresricky and #freericky emerged.

Rumors swirled that he'd been fired or abducted. Someone half-joked, "The Scientologists got Ricky Gervias."

When he returned, for the final third of the program, Gervais looked as if he'd been let out of a time out. He remained jovial, but the barbs felt a little less pointed.

Anyone put-off by Gervais' performance, especially Berk who told the Hollywood Reporter that he throught the comic "crossed the line," calling some of the things he said, "totally unacceptable," knew what they were getting when they hired Gervais, for the second year in a row.

Berk should be sure to collect his winnings at Rick's in advance of Captain Renault, just before shutting the place down, for gambling.

They hired a man who built a career, both on "The Office," (original) and his follow-up series "Extras," by creating excruciatingly awkward situations.

And then bleeding every pint of piss, flop sweat, and tears out of them.

Gervais may have crossed some lines, and taken one or two cheap shots—he really is better than that 1975 Cher joke—but he didn't throw a fit and ruin the party.

Like the best party guests, he kept festivities light, made sure everyone was having fun, and most importantly—made the event memorable.

Anyone who thinks the Oscars, hosted by James Franco and Anne Hathaway (really?), will be 1/10th as entertaining as the Globes is delusional.

He's simply the best.

2. The Hollywood Foreign Press thinks "Glee" is Fab-u-lous!
Come to think of it, the Golden Globes were a veritable gay fest from start to finish.

We totally won sectionals!
  • We totally won sectionals!

Let's start with "Glee," which nabbed three major awards, including the prize for Best Comedy series, and the two supporting comedy.musical performances: Chris Colfer and Jane Lynch, both of whom are gay and out, and both of whom took full advantage of their moment to speak their truth.

Colfer's heartfelt speech addressed the bullying epidemic:

"Most importantly, to all the amazing kids that watch our show and the kids that our show celebrates, who are constantly told 'no' by the people in their environments, by bullies at school that they can't be who they are or have what they want because of who they are. Well, screw that, kids,"

Colfer edged-out another iconic gay role, "Modern Family's" Cam. Straight actor Eric Stonestreet plays Cam with flamboyant flair and note-perfect panache, that it is easy to forget that he is not acting.

In real life Stonestreet, upon hearing the news that he lost live tweeted from his table, a photo of Jesse Tyler Ferguson, his television partner Mitchell.

Under the photo, he wrote the caption, "Loser!" Presumably, Ferguson, who is gay, is calling Stonestreet "a loser" Tsk tsk...he'd better watch those mildly sinister undertones.

Gleek Jane Lynch, in a sincere moment that suddenly made the lesbian family "comedy" The Kids are All Right seem down right sensationalistic, casually gave thanks to her wife Haden and their kids back in Chicago.

By contrast, Annette Benning, who is straight, but plays a lesbian mother in The Kids are All Right, won the Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Comedy Or Musical. In her speech, she made a comment that could have been written by Ricky Gervais, when she pointing out that her husband Warren Beatty won the Golden Globe for Most Promising Newcomer...in 1961.

"Big Bang Theory's" Jim Parsons, who is also gay and out, scored Best Performance by an Actor In A Television Series - Comedy Or Musical.

I Fonz this
  • Mark Zuckerberg
  • I "Fonz" this

3. The Hollywood Foreign Press "Likes" the Social Network

I'll just take the low road here, and repost reactions others posted on my Facebook Wall:

Best Motion Picture - Drama

("Well, THAT was predictable...)

Best Director - Motion Picture - David Fincher
(The First Rule of Facebook is...you never talk about Facebook!)

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture - Aaron Sorkin
(OMG, he actually talks just like his characters...)

Holy Shit!Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross won a Golden Globe
  • " Holy Shit!"Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross won a Golden Globe

Best Original Score - Motion Picture - Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross

Ironically, Trent Reznor, who has only posted about 10 times since last September, said it best. On Twitter. His two word reaction?

"Holy Shit!"


4.The Fighter Comes Out Swinging

Get Funky

  • Get Funky

Landing two of the major acting awards, Melissa Leo for Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture, and Christain Bale for Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture, this little boxing biopic that could, suddenly has a punchers chance of becoming a legit Oscar contender.


5. Robert DeNiro is either: A) Insane or B) Channeling Rupert Pupkin
You decide:

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