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Thursday, August 4, 2011

'Rescue Me' Final Season, episode 4: Malcolm X serious

Man, this episode was all over the map. It's starting to feel like "ok, this is the final season, so let's cram everything in that we can" time - which I hate. Here's to hoping I can make this sound cohesive, even though the show's writers clearly didn't think that was very important.

The show starts off with the airing of Tommy's interview with a vapid blond reporter lady on Channel 6 regarding Jimmy's death on 9/11. It was a nice remembrance piece... until it wasn't. Tommy kept it cool while asked questions like "Would you trade places with Jimmy" and "Do you think you could start crying? What about now?" No, that wasn't really it, but you know how reporters can be so anxious for an Oprah moment. So then she turned a corner and started asking about firemen getting their due respect because of their acts on 9/11... and then about having bad raps for being angry alcoholics. I mean, you had to see it coming a mile away, but Tommy totally went all Matt Damon on blondie and flipped her and the camera guy off before storming off set. After it's all said and done, Franco goes all Bjork on TOMMY. I really don't know what the hell has crawled up Franco's ass lately, but this is not a good look for him.

Moving on, Black Shawn and Mike are at a lovely reception hall, handing a down payment to the proprietor of said hall before Colleen even lays eyes on it. AND the down payment was only $300. What the hell kind of jacked up bubble are the writers living in? $300 for a down payment? In New York City? Before the bride SEES it?!?!?! My blood is boiling right now, but not as hot as Miss Proprietor's when she finds out that Colleen's family is Irish. She goes from "You're such a lovely couple" to "GTFU out here! Yes, I'm Malcolm X serious!" Did I mention she's black? So Teddy is all like "this is reverse racism" and she explains about some Irish wedding long ago that tore up the place, Gypsy wedding style, at which Teddy recalls his uncle losing a finger, so he gives her $100 for "reparations" and ushers everyone out the door.

Tommy ends up back at Kelly's place after she gives him the good news that she's cancer-free, and instead of uncorking some Cristal, she decides to go into a Liv Tyler in Empire Records rage fest, and is only calmed down by Tommy sucking her face. I'm pretty sure that would do the trick for me, too. The twist here is that instead of ending up doing the horizontal mambo, she realizes she's perfectly fine and tells Tommy to go home to his wife. I think that's the last time we'll see Kelly.

Lastly, there was a fire, in which Tommy saves Franco's life, like, for Malcom X serious, and they shake hands afterward and determine they're still not going to be besties in the end. Oh yeah, and Sean ends up banging the hot sales chick from Amsale only to find out she's a post-coital farter. Gross.

So, none of my predictions from last week came true, but I'll try it again anyway. Next week - Franco makes a pearl, Tommy gets his ass reamed for the interview and Sheila drains Janet's hemorrhoids.

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