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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Would you believe alligators are stalking the sewers of Cabbagetown?

The economy is crumbling. Civil unrest is reaching a fever pitch. Prehistoric fucking reptiles are overtaking our urban sewer systems. So, it's official ... IT IS TIME TO PANIC.

Well, the first couple things are true (and you should still totally panic). The last one, not so much.

Little's Food Store in Cabbagetown got us good. About an hour ago, the following image of an 11-foot, razor-toofed gator showed up on their Facebook page, part of the album "Nasty beast pulled up from the sewers under Carroll Street" (note the Melvin Gallery sign) ...

Big. Ass. Gator.
  • Big. Ass. Gator.

I called Little's to figure out whether or not I need to start walking the streets wearing mesh armor and carrying a bowie knife. First hint it was a hoax: the lady who picked up the phone had no idea what I was talking about when I told her I was calling about the gator. Alas, a guy named Brad had a good chuckle as he explained the pic WAS taken in Cabbagetown, but the gator was actually killed by his buddy (for sport, legally) about a week ago over in Screven County, a place where I assume gator maulings are common and go unreported for the most part.

It's safe to assume your unrest, civilians.

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