Friday, November 18, 2011
Review Twilight’s Breaking Dawn achieves hilarious levels of B-movie glory, whether intended or not
Posted by Debbie Michaud @DebsMichaud on Fri, Nov 18, 2011 at 4:58 PM
- Andrew Cooper/© 2010 Summit Entertainment, LLC.
- PLEASED AS PUNCH: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart finally do the sex in Breaking Dawn
In the penultimate entry in the Twilight film series, Breaking Dawn — Part 1, 18-year-old Bella (Kristen Stewart) and 17-going-on-110-year-old vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) tie the knot in an elaborate, Midsummer Night's Dream-y ceremony before the entire town. Bella, who always seemed more like the eloping type, looks justifiably terrified walking down the aisle as it rains white flower petals all around her. The young couple makes it official in a swirl of vows, the camera spinning around as they promise “to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for as long as they both shall live.”
It’s a scene Twihards have been dying to see for years now, an official, law-binding moment that somehow would seem to justify the fantasy that painful, possibly lethal love is nonetheless a girl’s most rewarding dream.
Yes, Twilight is painfully misogynistic. Yes, it's full of mixed messages about sex and abuse and purity. But in Breaking Dawn, camp for once trumps earnestness to make this the franchise's most watchable entry yet. In fact, Breaking Dawn achieves hilarious levels of B-movie glory, whether intended or not. It’s a teen romance grindhouse fantasy that pinballs between the kind of angsty dialogue and facial expressions that made The Room so bad it’s good, to special effects that are special in the way Rain Man is special.
As they are wont to do, Jacob (Taylor Lautner) and his pack tear through their clothing and the woods surrounding the town of Forks in scenes that have the same confounding visual impact as a velvet painting of a wolf howling at the moon. At one point Jacob challenges alpha dog Sam and the two engage in some heated and downright hilarious verbal fisticuffs — hilarious primarily because the dogs’ mouths don’t really move at all except to growl. It feels like some kind of hirsute Jedi mind trick.
During their honeymoon on a private island just a speedboat ride from Rio, aerial shot of the towering “Christ the Redeemer” statue included, Edward and Bella finally do the sex, leaving the bed in pieces and Bella black and blue. Still honeymooning a couple of weeks later (this is the benefit of marrying an independently wealthy vampire with a private island), Bella ends up doubled over in the bathroom vomiting. Was it just some bad chicken or could it be a demon baby ravaging her loins?
The movie’s second half follows Bella through an accelerated and painful pregnancy and a renewed territorial struggle between the Cullens and the wolf pack. So here she is, married at 18, no college education, drinking blood out of a Styrofoam cup. A knocked-up emaciated corpse bride.
Like most teenagers, Bella has mistaken general decision making for actual control of her destiny and stubbornness for a grounded sense of self. By insisting on having the “baby,” she’s killing herself both literally and metaphorically. A dangerous message for the hordes of young women hanging on her every move. Young women who, like Bella, hate having to admit that dad might have been right.
But for those of us old enough to know better, Breaking Dawn makes for an absurd, campy romp.
THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN — PART 1 2 stars Directed by Bill Condon. Stars Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson. Rated PG-13. Opens Fri., Nov. 18. At area theaters.
Comments (4)
Showing 1-4 of 4
like
dislike
Their mouths don't move b/c they aren't TALKING wolves. They communicate telepathically
I'm surprised you didn't bring up imprinting.
Meyer has this habit of bring up storylines and characters that should clearly go a complicated, interesting route and just doesn't take them there.
IMO, Bella kept the baby b/c she KNEW it would kill her. B/c she KNEW when it got that dire, Edward would change her--which what she's wanted all along.
@RoxieMoxie: just b/c they communicate telepathically doesn't mean it doesn't look stupid and weird and hilarious, which it does. You're right about Bella, which proves my point about the misogynistic themes, most notably the idea that "painful, possibly lethal love is nonetheless a girl’s most rewarding dream," as I said in the review. Not to mention all of the political subtext from veiled racism to anti-abortion. One thing Twilight is not is subtle.
@TiaRae: thanks!
I've come across, in more than one review, confusion about the wolves' communication, so I thought I'd clear that up. Level of stupidity is absolutely up to anyone's opinion.
Is it anti-abortion? I'm not sure. I mean clearly she's having the most horrible pregnancy ever and everyone (excluding Rosalie) wants her to terminate. She keeps it only b/c she wants to--which is her choice...as crappy as it may be. So, I don't know..Which is why I prefer to believe as I do about Bella b/c it makes her far more interesting.
Funny thing. When this book was released, opinion split the fandom wide open. You'll find lots of fans who hated it and refer to the Saga as a Trilogy.
Latest in Fresh Loaf
-
Time and Place: Read between the lines
To me this photo is about doing your own thing and following your own path in life.
-
Vernon Jones wants to return to the Gold Dome and other interesting qualification tidbits 2
Qualifying period ends, dust settles, campaigns begin
-
Suspects in Pittsburgh gay bashing slated to go to trial Tuesday
The men accused of beating Brandon White in Southwest Atlanta already headed to court
- More »
More by Author
-
Weekend Arts Agenda: The Tannhauser Gate
See how Freddie Krueger turned a kid into a fine art photographer instead of a serial killer and other such art temptations for the not-work-week
-
Daughter of literary giant William Styron discusses her 2011 memoir Reading My Father tonight
Alexandra Styron remembers her legendary 'hard drinking, bellicose writer' father at SCAD's Ivy Hall
- More »
