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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Get your 'caine fix, er, make that your Cain fix here

Posted by Scott Henry on Wed, Dec 14, 2011 at 8:00 PM

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We know. You miss the Hermanator. We feel your pain re: Cain.

The guy suspended his presidential campaign (read: quit the race) on Dec. 3, but you wouldn't know it from the frequency of the blast emails from Friends of Herman Cain. Granted, there was about a week when he laid low, but this week he's back up to an email a day.

Yesterday's message touted that his inclusion as one of Barbara Walter's “10 Most Interesting People,” which airs tonight at 9:30 on WSB-TV, as well a local appearance at Sean Hannity’s Holiday Concert Salute to the Troops. Hannity (who launched his career on WSB radio) will be joined by Reagan-era traitor Oliver North and home-grown comedian Jeff Foxworthy at the Cobb Energy Center some time on Saturday (I don't bother with the time because I know none of ya'll would go.)

But today's message…ah, today's message is a heartfelt holiday greeting from the Cains — no, his wife hasn't left him yet — to each and every one of you good people. You can watch the nearly 4 minute video here.

Now, it's my strong impression that the Cain folks already had this project in the pipeline before he bugged out of the race, because he'd sent out a message soliciting videos from his supporters:

We are going to distribute a special videotaped holiday message, and want to invite you and your loved ones to be a part of it.

Here were his guidelines:

A direct-to-camera holiday wish, with all the warmth you can muster, selected from the following:
• Merry Christmas
• Happy Holidays
• Seasons Greetings
• Happy Hanukkah

And he did include what look to be actual vidclips of real people, along with ample stock footage of generic families celebrating stuff.

But, you know what? Apparently, the post-campaign Cain didn't see the point of maintaining the illusion of inclusiveness. Therefor, in the final cut of the video — titled, tellingly, "It's Christmas in America" — no one says "Happy Hanukkah" or "Seasons Greetings" or similar namby-pamby, anti-American bullshit. Instead, everybody yells, "Merry Christmas!" (Even the Latino guy, who says it in Spanish.) There's also Bible-readin' a-plenty and a catchy song that references the "Lamb of God." Finally, in his accompanying email, Cain exhorts us to "not forget the birth of Christ and what it means to mankind."

Got it. Herman's a Christian's Christian. But what I wanna know is, why couldn't the woman singing the lead vocals seem to afford day care?

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"But what I wanna know is, why couldn't the woman singing the lead vocals seem to afford day care?"

Says Cain: "Baby JESUS didn't have daycare!"

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Posted by capatl on 12/14/2011 at 10:33 PM
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