
2. Besides conspiring to make us all fatsos, the Girl Scouts of America are destroying traditional family values by promoting homosexuality, sexualizing young girls, and operating as a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood, says smart/sane Indiana State Rep. Bob Morris. After the "small amount" of Internet research his wife did on the Girl Scouts revealed that they're a "radicalized organization" (his words — no joke), Morris made it his noble mission to stop the Indiana House from approving a non-binding resolution celebrating the Girl Scouts centennial anniversary. So, basically, that box of Samoas you just ate in one sitting ensured that some special little girl will become a lesbian who enjoys getting abortions in her spare time. Nice work.
3. DOOM LOOMS.
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