Friday, April 6, 2012
Recap City 'American Idol' Recap: Snoozefest 2012
Posted by Leigh Anne Anderson @larehkopf on Fri, Apr 6, 2012 at 11:33 AM
- Fox
- Future Head and Shoulders spokesperson
P.S., sorry that I skipped a week, folks. I mean, the Atlanta Film Fest had this rager at the Goat Farm last week that I couldn't miss and therefore I really couldn't sit and watch the show. My bad. So, Heejun Hun got booted last week. He even made up for his joke of a Billy Joel performance and sang with feeling, but again, Americans have memories and it was his turn to be cut.
DeAndre Brackensick - "I Like It" by Debarge
Ms. Gwen told DeAndre he looks scared after he sings, as if he's all like, "Did that just happen?" Most of the time I'm like, um, that totally shouldn't have happened, and I'm feeling that way again right now. I mean, I know I asked him to bring his Maxwell falsetto back into play, but I'm already over it. At least he lost the reggae-licious shit. Sorry, kid, you and your flippy hair need to go.
Elise Testone - "I Wanna Know What Love Is" by Foreigner
Who, BTW, sang her uterus out last week, couldn't pick a dang song to save her life, but thankfully she went with Foreigner (playing at Chastain this summer, y'all!) "I Wanna Know What Love Is," which is a wise choice because I would've torn her a new one for fucking up her original choice, THE "Hallelujah" by Leonard Coehn. I do love some Foreigner and this song is totes on rotation on my iPod, but I did.not.feel.this at all. Neither did the judges. It was out of tune, like, the whole time. Ouch.
Duet time! Colton Dixon and Skylar Layne sang "Islands in the Stream" by Kenny Loggins and Dolly Parton. Jesus, could they have picked the most opposite people to sing this? They can't even look at each other and it's making me uncomfortable. P.S., Colton went way too blonde this week and I think he's embarrassed by it. Gross times ten.
Phillip Phillips - "That's All" by Genesis
Phillip Phillips singing Phil Collins. Fitting! It took me a minute to get into it. OK, a coupla minutes. OK, I didn't feel it at all, but I can't say that because my mom would be mad at me. Sorry, mom, this sucked. You know it did.
Duet time! Hollie and DeAndre sang "I'm So Excited" by the Pointer Sisters. God, shoot me now. Everyone knows that Jessie Spano is the only one who can do this song justice. When you put mini Maxwell and tiny Celine Dion together singing this, it's pure murder on your eardrums.
Joshua Ledet - "If You Don't Know Me by Now" by Patti LaBelle
Here's some of that perfect gospel shizz that Joshua does so well. I'm telling ya, he's the sleeper in this competition.
Jessica Sanchez - "How Will I Know" by Whitney Houston
Enough with the Whitney, Jessica. Gwen Stefani told her she dances like a lounge singer. I'm bored. In actuality this song is boring, so I guess it's not totally Jessica's fault. And homegirl can.not dance.
Duet time! Ok, Elise and Phillip Phillips are singing together, and they're like, my favorite. My uncle alerted me to this performance's awesomeness before I got a chance to watch it, so (full disclosure) I'm trying to go in with an unbiased mind. Well that was easy. They're singing "Stop Dragging My Heart Around" by Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks. I guess it was OK. It probably will be the best of the duets, but I guess my bias comes from simply not liking this song. Meh.
Hollie Cavanaugh - "What a Feeling" by Irene Cara
This whole show is boring me. 80s music can be so fantastic, and somehow these kids have managed to pick the most obvious songs. What, is "Walk Like an Egyptian" next? I mean seriously, this is awful. Hollie is awful and dressed like Tonya Harding. I don't even think Hollie liked it.
Duet time! Joshua and Jessica (natch) are singing Aretha Franklin and George Michael's jam "I Knew You Were Waiting." Fine, this was the best duet, but who the hell are picking these songs? Snoozefest.
Colton Dixon - "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper
Finally, a song that doesn't suck. No, Foreigner never sucks, but it's been so long since that happened. ZOMG I'm totes head over heels for this guy. I mean look at his mohawk-ish haircut and his indie-rocker good looks, and gaw, his voice. It's like he's singing to my soul (and those belonging to every other 17-year-old girl out there). Oh muh gaw, he has a tattoo! How have I not noticed that?!? *swoon* So I guess he lives in Nashville. That's not so far away, amirite?
Skylar Laine - "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler
UGHHHHH, Beaches. Remember that? Awwww, sad face for Barbara Hershey's character right now. Oh wait, Skylar is singing. I got distracted by looking at someone's ultrasound pictures on Facebook.
The Results
Jessica and Joshua were up first and were fine. Duh. Wow, The Wanted are fucking terrible. I mean, I hear this song at the gym and it's great treadmill music, but live it's not nice any kind of music. Skylar and Colton were resulted (that's a word, right?) next with Hollie and DeAndre. DeAndre is in the bottom three! Colton is safe, but Hollie is not! Skylar is. I'm OK with that. So Phillip Phillips and Elise were last up, and someone has to be in the bottom from this duo, and it should be Elise. I'm right. So, at the end of this really long and horribly 80s day, DeAndre was finally sent packing. Huzzah!
Predictions for next week - Hollie sounds like Celine Dion some more, Colton Dixon makes my heart go pitter-patter and Elise gets sent home.
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