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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Pets dumb enough to think they can vote declare allegiance to Newt

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Say hello to Little Dude (pictured right). Dude hails from Portland, Tenn., looks dapper in winter wear, and will believe Barack HUSSEIN Obama is a U.S. citizen when he sees the birth certificate and not a second sooner. "I'm with Newt!" says Little Dude on my favorite website-that-I-found-out-about-four-months-too-late, PetsWithNewt.com. Aw. He thinks he's people. Rightwing people.

You knew Newt Gingrich was crazy ... but didja know he's also WILD ABOUT ANIMALS.

Besides pictures of pets on whom people have insisted on projecting their political beliefs, PetsWithNewt.com links to a list of Newt's favorite zoos (Zoo Atlanta made the cut ... phew) and a slideshow of Newt cradling a variety of animals in his arms, which is unfair and made me physically angry. Look what good friends Newt was with penguins BEFORE THEY STARTED ATTACKING HIM.

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On Friday, Newt was at the St. Louis Zoo and a Magellanic penguin nipped his finger, requiring him to request a Band-Aid. Newt is "running for president" and this is what people are talking about. Little Dude, you'll have to settle for Romney.

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