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Thursday, February 14, 2013

Atlanta has most erotic-novel-reading freaks per capita

READ EM AND WEEP: No, these hotties are not figments of your imagination. Theyre CLs 2013 Lust List picks!
  • READ 'EM AND WEEP: No, these hotties are not figments of your imagination. They're CL's 2013 Lust List picks!
Eat your heart out, America. When it comes to buying cheesy, personalized romance novels, Atlanta's No. 1!

And what would Valentine's Day be without such rankings to remind us of the market economy's successful commodification of our unquenchable desires? This one comes courtesy of uStarNovels.com, an online publisher of customized romance and erotic novels. The company crunched data from 2,000 of its nationwide customers, gathered over the past few years, to deduce that Atlantans are hot to trot. Their simple, self-serving methodology included adding up the "number of erotic books ordered by city," then dividing by population to get a "Sexiest City Per Capita Ranking."

Here's the ranking of the top 10 sexiest cities in America, according to the company's sales data, and a word from its press release, which shamelessly plugs "Hotlanta":

1. Atlanta
2. Seattle
3. Las Vegas
4. San Diego
5. Dallas
6. Chicago
7. Houston
8. Brooklyn
9. New York
10. Los Angeles

Looks like the Biggest Romantics are located in Atlanta, with 3 times the amount of erotic books being purchased per capita than Chicago, Dallas, Houston and San Diego. Earning the nickname 'Hotlanta', Atlanta ranks 6:1 over New York and Los Angeles (per capita).

In an ironic sort of way, these numbers could mean the exact opposite of what's intended. Could it be that Atlantans find so much lacking in their real love lives that they have to turn to desperate, paint-by-numbers fantasies for self-satisfaction? The company's online order form allows customers to input such details as character names, eye and hair color, favorite food, and favorite music to "co-author a 160 - 180 page authentic personalized" paperback at $35.95 a pop, in which Atlantans get to imagine themselves having lusty adventures in exotic locales around the world - i.e., anywhere besides home.

Or they could just read our annual Lust List issue, out today, and stalk some real-life Atlanta beauts. Either way, it's nice to know our standing as the City Too Consumed With Pent-Up Lust To Hate remains safe. For what it's worth, I hear we purchase a lotta dildoes per capita, too.

Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!

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