Boy Scout uniforms are so gay. Which is why the homophobia erupting over the supposed threat of gay scout leaders is pretty nonsensical to me.
Just look at the above footage from earlier this week and ask yourself who looks like the least qualified role model for young boys of America - Don Lemon, who comes out (again) as both a gay man and a former Boy Scout; the hetero dude and former Boy Scout who recalls how his lesbian mother was banned from participating in scouting with her son; or the fully grown Scout master vehemently expressing his opposition to gay scout leaders while wearing a kerchief around his neck? A flippin' kerchief.
I, too, was a Cub Scout for many years, until about the 5th grade when girls in my class started informing us that our uniforms made us less than desirable. I never learned how to tie a slip square knot or make fire from flint stone, but I did learn how to freehand a picture of the old Georgia state flag. When I took it home to show it off to my mother, who wasn't from Georgia, she swore up and down that it was the Confederate rebel flag. It took me weeks to convince her that my white scout master wasn't some covert racist who wanted to take us camping so he could lynch us with all that good rope he had lying around.
I'm not sure what that has to do with the Boy Scout's current proposal to continue banning gay scout leaders while allowing gay boys as scouts. But maybe there's a lesson about tolerance and compassion buried in there somewhere - my tolerance for my mom's irrational fears and the compassion I developed for a scout leader who took pride in things that seemingly posed a threat to my own family's values, perhaps. But naw, all that pales in comparison to the biggest thing I gained from my time in the Scouts: my impeccable fashion sense.
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The drill should be called Andrew Jones, and the hole called the Gold Club.