Thursday, October 3, 2013

First Slice 10/3/13: CDC is SOL

Posted By on Thu, Oct 3, 2013 at 9:51 AM

Over 6,000 CDC employees in the Atlanta area have been furloughed thanks to the government shutdown. Meh, who really needs them? Seriously, when was the last time we had a massive outbreak of disease?

The long-lost Upton cousins posed for the cover of the latest issue of Sports Illustrated. That's B.J. and Justin from the Braves and Kate from the Dougie. Let's hope the family reunion doesn't invoke the wrath of the infamous "Sports Illustrated cover jinx."

Just north of Atlanta, Gainesville City Schools are considering adding Colt 6920 M4 carbines to the already ridiculously long list of annual school supplies. Although the box of Kleenex is starting to make a lot more sense if the CDC is going to remain shuttered.

Senator Harry Reid is not going to compromise with those "banana Republicans."

The Dread Pirate Roberts was arrested this week after he was revealed to be the mastermind behind Silk Road, the notorious internet drug hub powered by Bitcoin. Just goes to show you, when you marry a girl who was almost a princess, she'll never be satisfied with the simple life of a rogue. Buttercup, we blame you.

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