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Friday, November 1, 2013

First Slice 11/01/13: Buford Connector demolition derby champ nabbed in drug bust

The 1,000-ton deckhouse of the future destroyer USS Zumwalt (DDG 1000) is craned toward the deck of the ship to be integrated with the ships hull. The destroyer is reported to cost at least 3.5 billion dollars.
  • US Navy
  • The 1,000-ton deckhouse of the future destroyer USS Zumwalt (DDG 1000) is craned toward the deck of the ship to be integrated with the ship's hull. The destroyer is reported to cost at least 3.5 billion dollars.

Darren Braun, the man responsible for a massive five-car collision on the Buford Connector a couple weeks back, has been apprehended in Maryland after he was arrested in an undercover drug operation. An obvious proponent of the YOLO lifestyle, two weeks ago Braun was found passed out in his vehicle in a traffic lane on the Buford Connector. When a HERO worker tried to revive him, a brawl ensued. Braun fled the scene, smashing into multiple cars in the process. Like any of us would, he then decided to hide out in a motel dressed as a woman for a few days while the heat cooled off. Still in drag, he took a bus up north due to a pressing business engagement that apparently went south.

Federal investigators are now looking into the bizarre "gym mat death" of Kendrick Johnson. The Valdosta teen died almost 10 months ago under mysterious circumstances. Local authorities dismissed foul play almost immediately. Objections have been raised by the victim's family and many in the community as several pieces of evidence seem to have been willfully ignored in the initial investigation.

Capt. James Kirk will be the commander of the USS Zumwalt, "the largest destroyer ever built for the Navy, the Zumwalt looks like no other U.S. warship, with an angular profile and clean carbon fiber superstructure that hides antennas and radar masts." Let's hope he enjoys his new wessel. And while Kirk might like his life above the waves, it is safe to say Jean-Luc Picard prefers life under the sea.

A woman in California was ticketed for driving while wearing her Google Glass! Egads. The outrage is nearly universal. A legal defense fund for her has already been set up, seriously. Moonbeam, will you and your goons ever let up?

This week, in yet another blow to all things underground, a massive tunnel that ran under the Mexican border to a San Diego warehouse was shut down. Over 600 yards in length and featuring "electricity, ventilation and an electronic rail system," the tunnel was used to smuggle vast quantities of drugs including the eight tons of marijuana and 325 pounds of cocaine seized by authorities.

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