Aisha is presented in the story as an icon of what more women could endure if and when the U.S. and its allies withdraw from Afghanistan. The international military presence couldn’t save Aisha from her attack, but if the Taliban expands its area of control in the absence of a military opponent, Taliban gangsters will likely be able to gets their hands on even more Aishas.

I shouldn’t say if. It’s really a when. American generals and politicians have for years been saying that the ultimate solution to the Afghan war will be political rather military. In plain English, that means American leaders have accepted that we will not eliminate the Taliban or Talibanism with military force. The initial success of Bush’s Operation Enduring Freedom was a single victorious battle in a long war. Every year since their overthrow, the Taliban have gained strength. There will never be a World War II-like surrender ceremony where Mullah Omar or some other Talibastard sits at a table with Gen. David “Don’t Call Him Betray Us” Petraeus to sign a surrender treaty denouncing all things Taliban. The best we can hope for is a political settlement that allows the Taliban control of certain parts of Afghanistan, as well as representation in the Afghan government.

I don't often re-read my old Don't Panic columns. It feels like looking at old yearbook pictures. But the beginning of Ramadan on Wednesday prompted a bit of satisfying self-Googling:

So for those of you who want to know what Ramadan is, here's my fatwa-worthy explanation:

Fasting during Ramadan is intended to instill in Muslims self-control and patience. It's training, just in case God ever has a difficult test for you. It's also a great opportunity for Muslims if they ever decide to commercialize Ramadan like the West has done with its holidays. In a country obsessed with weight loss, I can easily imagine the Ramadan Diet taking its rightful place in the pantheon on fad diets, somewhere between Dr. Atkins and Herbalife.

In reality though, fasting is just part of the ritual self-denial that makes up Ramadan. Sexual activity also is restricted during Ramadan. Nookie between married people is not allowed during the day. If you and your spouse are unable to control your impulses and, for example, engage in a lunch-hour quickie, you're required to make up for it by either fasting for an additional 60 days or by feeding 60 poor people one meal each.

Read the rest.

Is Obama cutting the military’s budget?

As a rule, I try never to impute bad motives on political figures whose political positions I don’t necessarily agree with. Honest people can disagree.

Instead, I just assume Palin and Gingrich are nice, well-meaning people who just happen to have never read the U.S. Constitution and who are ignorant of New York’s proud diversity because they seldom (if ever) see the parts of NYC that aren’t visible during their short walks from the front door of Fox News’s Sixth Avenue studio to their limos.

I also assume Palin and Gingrich are just as strongly opposed to the construction of new mainstream Christian church facilities in cities where violent extremist Christians have committed atrocities. I bet they’d say “No new churches in Oklahoma City because Timothy McVeigh was a Christian” if you asked them. Too bad the biased liberal media never asks.

My willingness to give politicians the benefit of the doubt about their motives, however, vanishes when obvious, undeniable facts are ignored.

• Illustration by Andisheh Nouraee

1) “That must suck.” 2) “I really could use some help painting my soffits.” 3) “These illegals are taking jobs away from all the hardworking REAL Americans who are eager to help me mulch my azaleas for $8/hour. 4) “These Mexicans are threatening our way of life in some vague way I can’t describe except to assure you that I’m totally not a racist and I resent you for implying I’m a racist just because I’m constantly voicing my anger about nonwhites and, in fact, I think you’re racist for calling me a racist.”

I would like you add a fifth reaction to your emotional repertoire.

Try pointing at the men and screaming, “Terrorist!”

If North Carolina Republican Congresswoman Sue Myrick has her way, we’ll all be yelling “terrorist!” soon.

Naturally, I hate them. Without war and conflict, I’ve got no career. What am I gonna do for money? Write poetry? Every decent rhyme for “Nantucket” has already been taken. Suck it. Duck it. Kirby Puckett.

But this isn’t all me-me-me. I’m worried about others, too. Think of all the hard-working explosives makers, prosthetic limb polishers, and mortuary refrigeration technicians who’ll be out of work if these Fund For Peacenik freaks get their way. Careers aren’t just about money. They’re about giving people a sense of purpose. Without purpose, the soul is drained and self-esteem vanishes.

These Fund For Peace pricks don’t care though. In fact, there’s strong evidence to suggest they enjoy injuring the self-esteem of others.

How else do you explain the Failed States Index — Fund For Peace’s annual list of nations ranked by how violent, unstable and destitute they are?

I’m not up on my mining slang, so I don’t know the precise slang one is supposed to use to indicate a mineral deposit larger than a mother lode. A maternity ward lode? A crowded OB/GYN waiting room lode? A mall restaurant happy hour with a half-off Pinot Grigio MILF special lode?

What exactly did the geologists find? Enough iron and copper to make Afghanistan one of the largest exporters of both. Enough gold to blingee all of south and central Asia. And enough niobium to do a lot of whatever the heck niobium does. (Writer Googles niobium and determines it's used for metal alloys in jet and rocket engines, as well as MRI machines. Writer is more-than-willing to “Bing” instead of “Google” in future columns, if Microsoft gives him an xbox 360.)

Our nosey geologists seem most excited about the vast sea of lithium baked into the earth underneath Afghanistan’s Ghazni province. Early indications suggest it’s one of, if not the biggest lithium deposit in the world.

Lithium is indispensable to modern life. Psychiatrists rely on it to treat severe mood disorders. Electronics makers rely on it as the key ingredient in rechargeable batteries. The original Star Trek crew relied on it for the dilithium crystals that powered the Enterprise to speeds faster than light. And Nirvana relied on it as the fifth song on its seminal Nevermind album.

You see, without “Lithium,” Nevermind would have gone straight from song four (“Breed”) to song six (“Polly”) which have wrecked the flow. No lithium, no entire 1990s. Think about it.

Landlocked and surrounded by four extraordinarily boring countries, Kyrgyz Republic (commonly known as Kyrgyzstan) has, in my opinion, the least appealing location of any country of any country on the globe. I suppose you could argue Poland has a worse location because it’s pinned between two historically violent superpower rivals (Russia and Germany). But at least Poles can get in their cars and drive to cool places like Prague, Vienna or Budapest. Get in a car in Kyrgyzstan and drive for 12 hours and you’ll find yourself in remote western China, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, or Uzbekistan. Podunkistans, all.

The Kyrgyz people have made a valiant effort to improve their lot. Despite general poverty, they have near universal literacy. It’s always fun to read about how poor you are. The Kyrgyz also use two of their most abundant edible natural resources, millet and horse milk, to make popular alcoholic beverages. Like I always say, when life serves you horse milk, make horse milkade.

Maybe I’m just an old fuddy duddy, but back when I was coming up, surprise was considered an essential element of successful warfare.

In fact, I can still recall that glorious day when I learned about the importance of surprise in war. It was 1832 and, just for fun, I downloaded the great Prussian military theorist Carl Von Clausewitz’s then-newly published “On War” to my Kindle. We didn’t have TV then, so we read German books for fun.

Anyway, it’s right there in Book Six, Chapter Three. That’s where Clausewitz lists “surprise” as one of the main factors of strategic success in warfare. In case you’re curious, the other five elements are terrain, strength of forces, popular support, morals, and an uplifting, jingoistic tune, preferably by Lee Greenwood.

Why the heck should you care what an old, dead German dude thinks of war? Well, before they were only good at cars and spicy mustard, Germans were also awesome at war. In fact, Clausewitz is probably the most influential western military thinker of the past 200 years after Edwin Starr. Though the modern battlefield would be almost unrecognizable to Clausewitz, his strategic principles still enhance our knowledge of how wars work.

To understand the importance of surprise, consider three of the most pivotal battles of the 20th century. Would Nazi Germany have so quickly trounced the French if Hitler had broadcast six months ahead of time that he was sending his blitzkrieg around French defensive fortresses? Of course not.

From London's Telegraph (h/t @letwits):

"We could consider this the biggest campaign of dog execution ever."

Turns out the U.S. invasion accidentally ruined Baghdad's ministry of dog murder. It's finally up-and-running again though.

Tomorrow is the first anniversary of the popular uprising following rigged presidential elections in Iran.

What's happening now? Other than systematic brutal repression of democratic will, not much. Khamenei and Ahmadidn't-win have successfully thwarted their opposition. Now they can focus on important things, like marching Iran in the direction of war.

Atlantans observed the anniversary today with a screening at the Carter Center of "For Neda" — a documentary about Neda Agha-Soltan, whose murder during last year's street protests was recorded on camera phones.

The documentary airs Monday on HBO and on YouTube right now.