Not to be confused with Diamonds of ATL, the hetero gentleman's club where rappers such as Ludacris have been known to make it rain, Black Diamond Atlanta is the name of a new weekly showcase due to feature transgender strippers at XS Ultra Lounge in Midtown.
It's being billed as the first transgender strip club experience in Atlanta, with a "sneak peek" preview party set for April 24. "There's never been anything like this in Atlanta before," lead dancer and spokesperson for the weekly event, Chanel Monroe, told the Georgia Voice. Judging by the flier and Facebook page, Black Diamond Atlanta's entertainers will be performing gender roles similar to their all-female counterparts. Which mean it's probably safe to assume bands will make them dance.
And what would Valentine's Day be without such rankings to remind us of the market economy's successful commodification of our unquenchable desires? This one comes courtesy of uStarNovels.com, an online publisher of customized romance and erotic novels. The company crunched data from 2,000 of its nationwide customers, gathered over the past few years, to deduce that Atlantans are hot to trot. Their simple, self-serving methodology included adding up the "number of erotic books ordered by city," then dividing by population to get a "Sexiest City Per Capita Ranking."
Here's the ranking of the top 10 sexiest cities in America, according to the company's sales data, and a word from its press release, which shamelessly plugs "Hotlanta":
3. Las Vegas
4. San Diego
9. New York
10. Los Angeles
Looks like the Biggest Romantics are located in Atlanta, with 3 times the amount of erotic books being purchased per capita than Chicago, Dallas, Houston and San Diego. Earning the nickname 'Hotlanta', Atlanta ranks 6:1 over New York and Los Angeles (per capita).
In an ironic sort of way, these numbers could mean the exact opposite of what's intended. Could it be that Atlantans find so much lacking in their real love lives that they have to turn to desperate, paint-by-numbers fantasies for self-satisfaction? The company's online order form allows customers to input such details as character names, eye and hair color, favorite food, and favorite music to "co-author a 160 - 180 page authentic personalized" paperback at $35.95 a pop, in which Atlantans get to imagine themselves having lusty adventures in exotic locales around the world - i.e., anywhere besides home.
Or they could just read our annual Lust List issue, out today, and stalk some real-life Atlanta beauts. Either way, it's nice to know our standing as the City Too Consumed With Pent-Up Lust To Hate remains safe. For what it's worth, I hear we purchase a lotta dildoes per capita, too.
Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!
If you've ever had one of those Saturday nights where your original plans fell through and you found yourself riding down Ponce de Leon Ave. 'round midnight feeling a little lonely, you probably know where this post is going...
That's right, the Clermont Lounge.
But when I pulled up last Saturday, I immediately noticed something different about the old haunt: a long ass line spilling out the front door. And it wasn't one of those vanity lines club owners like to create just to promote the club to cars passing by. The doormen were only letting in new patrons as people exited, as if it was full to capacity. Even the dude behind me asked, "What's going on tonight? I've never seen it like this."
That was nothing compared to the inside: Bar. Packed. Dance floor. Packed. That narrow little hallway in front of the bathrooms. Packed. DJ Romeo Cologne's opener Quasi Mandisco was in the booth shirtless and spinning the funk as usual. And everybody was loving it. But the crowd looked, I don't know, different? It was a good mix as always but you could tell there were a lot of first-timers in the spot because they had that touristy look in their eyes. Others looked right at home, first time or not, like the lady who must've been inspired to do her own tease after watching the Clermont's rich variety of over-the-hill, over-the-waistline talent. As she stood on a chair holding the overhead rafter for support, she ground her hips like coffee and screamed like a wino. I almost tipped her.
Still something felt a little off, a little strange, a little suburban. In search of answers, I took to my preferred source of info: Twittah. "damn. wtf happened to the Clermont Lounge? it's packed but ... who r these ppl??" I tweeted.
Within minutes came the response: "clermont was on house wives of Atlanta last week...don't ask me how I kno...," tweeted an Atlanta artist who'd probably prefer to remain nameless under the circumstances.
Indeed, episode 9 of Bravo's "Real Housewives of Atlanta" featured a scene shot inside Atlanta's oldest strip club with Atlanta's oldest strippers putting in work. Apparently, the airing brought the show's freaky, over-40, suburban fanbase out in full force.
Forget what you thought you knew about the skrip club. After exposing the struggles of black tattoo artists with Color Outside the Lines: A Tattoo Documentary, Atlanta-based filmmaker/videographer Artemus Jenkins has trained his eye toward debunking the myths surrounding one of Atlanta's most stereotyped subcultures.
The dancers at revered Atlanta hot spot Magic City are the subject of the ongoing web-series P.O.P. (Power of Pussy). Through dressing room interviews with members of Magic's current and former lineup (including renowned "retiree" Gigi Maguire), the doc offers a behind-the-scenes peek into the lifestyle and the technical prowess it takes to work the pole.
For those who think strippers are all about clapping their cheeks and giving $5 lap dances to scrape up college tuition, the close-up on Magic City's talent is a rare eye-opener. First of all, they prefer the term "dancer" to "stripper" - because anybody can strip. And at the City, they forgo basic ass-shaking for the kind of Cirque Du Soleil pole acrobatics that might make Gabby Douglas let loose a stack of ones.
Whatever its origin, it's all the rage in many nightclubs around the world these days.
Often scantily clad dancers writhe to music as tons of foam suds pour over them.
Most of the time it's perfectly legal fun, but Marietta Police have put out a warning to parents of underage teens who're joining in, especially girls.
"There's really a lot going on that's actually very dangerous to the kids," Marietta Police Officer David Baldwin told 11Alive News.
The word on the street, according to Baldwin, is that these decadent, sudsy soirees can sometimes attract gangs, drugs, and creepers who have no qualms about taking advantage of "partially dressed underaged girls." (Expect attendance of the latter to skyrocket after they learn, from TV news, that such parties exist.)
Bottom line, parents: Know where your teenagers party. And then wear a shiny track suit, cover your face in fluorescent dye, and meet them at the event.
Have you ever done the online dating thing? It's actually not so bad. In fact, it might be a little too effective. (Then again, maybe it's different for females.) Sure, there's nothing quite like making eye contact across the room, but for busy bees and homebodies, the whole online dating thing can allow, if anything, some temporary entertainment.
Whether looking for love or lust, it may interest you to know there's a new online dating player in town brought to you by the sex and culture lovin' peeps over at Nerve.com. "So ... ?" you're asking yourself. "OKCupid didn't help me, why would this?" OK. Fine. Point taken. But then again, Nerve Dating is 1) Free, 2) Free, and 3) You're still single and looking. What do you have to lose? Your dignity?
Really, it's always good to be a little skeptical. That's why I spoke with Nerve.com's CEO Sean Mills (former president of The Onion) about the company's Atlanta launch, why online dating isn't math, and why we ATLiens should give our hearts and loins to their brand-spanking new dating site.
Here's what he had to say:
The Augusta National Golf Club is all about tradition. Tradition holds that only people with penises can be members. Until 1990, only white penis people could be members. Tradition also holds that the CEOs of each of the Masters Tournament's three sponsors — AT&T, ExxonMobil, and IBM — receive honorary memberships to the club.
As Jezebel and other outlets point out, this presents a predicament for the ugly-green-jacket club this year, now that one of the CEOs is this guy ...
A thing that's been repeatedly pointed out: Augusta is a private club and they can do whatever they want. If they don't want to let ladies in, they plain don't have to. The Washington Post makes this analogy ...
You want to tell Augusta whom it must accept as a member? Be prepared to tell the same thing to the YWCA, PFLAG, the sisters of Chi Omega, and African American fraternities — and to seize and review their membership lists.
Point taken. Also worth mentioning: IBM was a boys club until Rometty came along. She's the first female CEO in their 100-year history. Traditions die hard. But, sometimes they do actually die.
Thank you, Brookhaven Patch, for everything you do, but mostly for making me aware that I was neglecting to celebrate the only holiday more important than the Fourth of July (which happens to be my birthday): NATIONAL PUPPY DAY.
National Puppy Day is a day during which we think about how awful puppy mills are — even though they sound like they would be so good! — and how great pet adoption is. It's also a good excuse to look at pictures of puppies on the Internet, and fantasize about butterfly kissing their bloated bellies before tearing their stuffing out with your teeth. In my fantasies, this guy is toast ...
Oh, and if you want International Puppy Day to be ruined, check out this AJC article about a local dog murder, replete with beautiful (pre-mortem) Glamour Shot of said dog resting his teensy paws on the shaft of God's penis.
HB 954 — which would ban abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy versus the 24 weeks the law now allows for, and would make fewer concessions for the health of the mother — goes before the House Judiciary Committee today. In response, House democrats are having a little fun and proposing legislation that would completely ban vasectomies.
In a press release, House Minority Leader Stacey Abrams said, “The Republican attack on women’s reproductive rights is unconscionable. What is more deplorable is the hypocrisy of HB 954’s author [Doug McKillip, R-Athens]. If we follow his logic, we believe it is the obligation of this General Assembly to assert an equally invasive state interest in the reproductive habits of men and substitute the will of the government over the will of adult men.”
Wouldn't that be CRAZY? For the government to tell men what they can and can't do to prevent unwanted pregnancies?
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