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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Another reason why Atlanta should secede from Georgia

Posted by on Wed, Jun 27, 2012 at 10:02 AM

United Nations traveling on two wheels, seen here in surveillance photos, want to eat cars and ban freedom
  • Joeff Davis/CL File
  • United Nations foot soldiers traveling on two wheels, seen here in surveillance photos, want to eat cars and ban freedom
The state's giving us bad press yet again. From The Economist's recent blog post about Georgia lawmakers' bizarre fascination with the United Nations non-plot to destroy suburbia with bike paths and transit:

... are Atlanta's Democratic mayor, Kasim Reed, and Republican attorney-general, Sam Olens, both agents of the United Nations determined to advance the cause of one-world government and outlaw private property? Before you laugh (well, okay, after you finish laughing), this is not a joke. Such concerns come not from the LaRouchey fringe, but from mainstream Georgia Republicans. Bill Heath, a Georgia state senator, warned earlier this month that advocates of Agenda 21 - a turgid, vapid, self-satisfied and of course non-binding statement of principles on development adopted 20 years ago at the Rio Conference - want to "essentially conquer the world through limiting everything we do, incrementally taking our liberties away from us." Agenda 21 was rousingly condemned at the state Republican conference last month as "an encroachment on our sovereignty" (which it might be if it were enforceable, binding, or actually did anything). And a former candidate for governor now running for commissioner of Cobb County, just north of Atlanta, condemned plans to build a jogging and biking trail alongside a highway because, "That's Agenda 21. Bicycles and pedestrian traffic as an alternative form of transportation to the automobile." Hear that, hippies? Every time you walk or bike somewhere instead of driving your car, U Thant wins.

Pray to God that the post doesn't make the print edition of the celebrated magazine of policy wonks and corporate titans around the world. Even fewer international visitors will set foot outside Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport.

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Thursday, March 15, 2012

Conference for literally insane people comes to Atlanta

Posted by on Thu, Mar 15, 2012 at 4:10 PM

On Friday, March 30, several hundred dozen people will flock to Alpharetta to laugh maniacally about nothing at the 2012 Laughter Yoga USA East Coast Conference. Laughter yoga is a thing that was invented in 1995 for people who are crazy. They don't even bother trying to hide it. Look at the lunatics on Laughter Yoga International's website:

Screen_shot_2012-03-15_at_3.19.15_PM.png

Alright, I'm being rude. Laughter has been proven to be medically beneficial, plus laughter yoga promotes things like world peace and ... fuck it. I'm terrified of these people.

The conference — which features notable speakers and a "funky" dance party — takes place March 30 through April 1, 2012, at the 5 Seasons Restaurant & Brewery, 3655 Old Milton Parkway, Alpharetta. Also this: "This is no April Fool’s joke — the conference is only $99 for the entire weekend (does not include food or lodging)."

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Monday, January 23, 2012

Meet the Georgia man who wants Obama to prove his citizenship in court

Posted by on Mon, Jan 23, 2012 at 10:12 AM

You'd think it wouldn't be so hard, ya know? All Cedartown resident David Farrar wants is for President Barack Obama to take a few hours out of his schedule, visit Georgia, and prove his citizenship. Then the president can appear on the 2012 ballot. No big deal. 11 Alive's Duffie Dixon sat down with Farrar:

There's some debate over whether the president would actually have to appear in court to answer the complaint and whether the judge has any jurisdiction in the matter. We're not lawyers so we'll let some of the more legal-minded readers fill us in on the details.

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Monday, August 15, 2011

Yikes. Woman claims hammer-wielding man chased her on Freedom Park jogging trail

Posted by on Mon, Aug 15, 2011 at 3:41 PM

Just before 6 p.m. last night, a woman claims she was jogging along the Freedom Park trails in Inman Park when an unknown man holding something hammer-like threatened to rape her.

Here's the APD narrative (the victim's name has been omitted):

According to [the victim] she was jogging along the trail near Alaska Avenue ... when she was attacked by a white male. [The victim] said ... she passed the subject and he immediately began running after her. While running about 10 feet behind her, [the victim] says the suspect yelled, "I will rape and fuck you." She mentioned the suspect was carrying something that resembled a hammer in his hand. In order to avoid the suspect, she ran into a store at 670 Highland Avenue where employees called police. [The victim] described the suspect as a white male, six feet tall, shaggy hair, slim built, wearing a white T-shirt, dark colored shorts and sneakers. She was unable to say exactly where the suspect stopped following her.

There must've been some misinformation already floating around about the incident. In an email to the media APD Public Information Officer Kim Jones stressed, "Let me make something very clear: the woman involved in this incident WAS NOT ATTACKED, I repeat: SHE WAS NOT ATTACKED."

Still, according to the report, the crime is classified as simple assault/battery.

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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Since when does abortion have anything to do with slavery?

Posted by on Wed, Jun 22, 2011 at 9:01 AM

According to the Radiance Foundation, abortion and slavery have a lot more in common than you might have thought. And to make sure you see the link between the two, the Alpharetta-based foundation has started a campaign to prop up nearly 50 billboards across metro Atlanta.

The billboards feature such slogans as "The 13th Amendment Freed us. Abortion Enslaved Us" and "Abortion makes three-fifths human seem overly generous." The billboards popped up across metro Atlanta on Juneteenth, which commemorates the end of slavery in the United States.

The billboards are part of a campaign targeted at persuading black women from resorting to abortions. Black women account for 30 percent of abortions but are only 12 percent of the population.

The campaign has raised many eyebrows from organizations like the NAACP who told the Huffington Post that likening slavery to abortion is slightly offensive:

"Comparing abortion to slavery certainly raises major concerns," Hilary Shelton, director of the Washington bureau of the NAACP, told HuffPost in an interview. "Women are not forced to have abortions the way they were in servitude. Slavery was about not having the right to make any decisions. Women were actually bred to produce children for the purposes of profit. This is so far removed from that, that if it weren't such a serious issue, it would almost be laughable."

The foundation also launched other similar campaigns across the country in the past to target black women from contributing to the so called abortion "epidemic." Here is a link to their campaign.

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Thursday, May 19, 2011

The end is near!

Posted by on Thu, May 19, 2011 at 11:53 AM

Cancel your weekend plans because, according to Christian radio broadcaster Harold Camping, Jesus will come back on Saturday. According to Camping, the Bible guarantees it.

Here's the grand plan, according to him:

On May 21, Jesus will come back to earth for Judgment Day and all the righteous souls will be airlifted to heaven. This will be followed by five months of catastrophic punishments for the remaining unfortunates. Then, finally, on Oct. 21, the world will end.

For months now, Camping has covered cities across the nation, including Atlanta, with fliers and billboards to warn the country of his predictions. Camping has even gathered a loyal clan of followers.

This isn't the first time Camping has predicted the Rapture. Previously, he said Judgment Day would be on Sept. 6, 1994. Obviously, that didn't happen.

While Camping and his followers await their fate, other more skeptical groups will be celebrating in opposition. For example, the Black Nonbelievers of Atlanta will be picnicking at Piedmont Park, calling it Rapture Day. The group will enjoy food and games while the rest of us wait to see if the Judgment is truly coming.

To check out his proof you can go here

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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

People want to spend their money on the Unabomber's stuff

Posted by on Wed, May 18, 2011 at 4:44 PM

A slew of Unabomber Ted Kaczynski's belongings are being auctioned (online) from a federal office building in Midtown, which means you too can look like pervert Weird Al:

unabomber.jpg

No, but, seriously, among the 58 lots available is one that includes a few pairs of aviator-style sunglasses and a grey hoodie, presumably the exact items he was wearing when he was spotted in Salt Lake City in 1987 (that sighting resulted in the famous composite sketch). There's also a bunch of handwritten documents, a typewriter, books, letters, pictures, clothes — all things people want to own for one reason or another. A handwritten copy of his manifesto is already going for $10,050, and the bidding just started today.

A good thing: the money goes to Kaczynski's victims.

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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Bobby Franklin can't take your "encouragement" right now

Posted by on Wed, Mar 30, 2011 at 2:56 PM

Bobby Franklin cant take your call. He's too busy keepin' an eye on your uterus.
  • Joeff Davis
  • Bobby Franklin can't take your call. He's too busy keepin' an eye on your uterus.
Rep. Bobby Franklin (R-East Cobb) doesn't need an answering machine. Why? Because he already knows why you're calling him, sillies — to offer your encouragement for his efforts to classify abortion as prenatal murder!

Today Gawker posted a sound clip of the outgoing message on Franklin's home phone (the number is conveniently listed on his House bio page). Here's the transcript:

This is State Representative Bobby Franklin. Thank you for calling to give me encouragement about my sponsorship of House Bill 1, recognizing that pre-natal murder is murder. I'm not able to take that encouragement right now, so at the tone please leave your name, number, and a message.

I imagine he's trying to trick people. Like, furious constituents dial him up, hear that message, and are like, "Wait. Encouragement? Oh, well, then ... great job calling gay people drug dealers?" Then Franklin gets home from a long day under the Gold Dome, takes off his loafers, puts on a pair of tennis shoes and a comfy cardigan (I don't know why his routine is the same as Mr. Rogers', but it is), kicks back and enjoys hours of "encouraging" answering machine messages.

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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Great news! The Economist covers Georgia's birther bill, cementing state's reputation as a backwater forever and ever

Posted by on Tue, Mar 8, 2011 at 10:46 AM

Here's a reminder that it's not just the lib'rul Atlanta media watching the Gold Dome. And that sometimes — just sometimes — publications with global reach will pick up on Georgia lawmakers' crazy pieces of legislation.

(Yes, we realize that, at least for now, the coverage is only online, meaning that it might miss the eyeballs of some jet-setting diplomats and corporate titans. But still, folks.)

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