"so if your lady feels extra tight, you haven't done your job of turning her on."
believe it or not, most guys are fine with that.
I like this article lots of things to think about and check out. A really great book that also covers most of your 'top ten' is "Creative Screwing" by Nanette LaRee Hernandez. Written for women but awesome book for anyone to read. Granted it does use some 'coarse' language....reader beware. Happy safe sexuality :)
[NOTE: This comment has been removed because it violates CL's commenting policies.]
"There's no such thing as straight or gay. Sexuality is a gray, sliding scale. It's not as simple as straight or gay or bi or trans."
Why are you including gender identity in an article about sexuality? Transgenderism/transsexualism have nothing to do with sexuality. This is what happens when uninformed/misinformed cisgender people (predominantly of the straight and bi variety) attempt to showcase their opinions and ideas about experiences that are not their own. Stick to writing about your dating mishaps and personal lubricant preferences and do not attempt to theorize about the trans community. We thank you!
While I would add that I don't disagree that the language the article uses could have been more carefully crafted I don't think an online advice column is mean to hold up to extensive critical scrutiny. This isn't an article in a scholarly journal and I like VHS' post that his advice still seems generally sound and only that one shouldn't fetishize differences.
Perhaps this is the academic inside me but it seems like the focus on language is an endlessly regressive loop. Words inherently lack strict meaning except in terms of difference (opposites). Either one is defined in opposition to some illusory standard/norm (which doesn't exist) so any term one finds only replicates alienation by defining a person in terms of their differences (glazing over one's identity as a person). Or it totally erase the differences that often give people strength and identity, which is equally damaging, especially when invariably it is impossible to find a underlying "same-ness"
Take a look at the evolution of words for (using the census term) Americans who are Black. Which even that is often considered offensive now, despite originally being a politically correct replacement for a plethora of now unthinkable words. People should have a right to be called by something which does not offend them, but by the same token a totalized focus on language can be damaging. One could maybe accuse the columnist of ignorance, that can be frustrating, but I'd hardly call that a letter of hate.
Last, to respond to Rebecca Wilson. The photo gives credit to a girls flickr account. I'm pretty sure that's just stock photo. Also, her identity and location are never identified. Metro Atlanta is a pretty big place and this article didn't out anyone.
email email@example.com and I will make sure you have enough products to test and rank until sex gets boring
The Gorgeous One is 235lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal, the men's fright, the women's delight...the toast of the coast with the utmost, and so fine, so very fine...
@wesleywhatwhat - Said in slow mo: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Conjizztivitus: DON'T DO IT. (It hurts!!!) Mer. :/
i've never had any complaints about slapping a girl in the face with no condom on. the semen in the eye is just a bonus.
Give it up for girth! I'm hung like a tuna can!
Of course people who don't use condoms are happier.
WARNING: This article may cause facepalm, annoyed sighing, and extreme eyerolling.
I totally agree with Phil Colins on this (that sounded weird, right?). Why go to a strangers house you just met at a party at 5am?
In my opinion, automatic sex shouldn't be implied in a perfect world, but this is a far from perfect world. It's very much implied. Can't you take down the guys number and call him tomorrow? Or does that tea party just have to happen now... at 5am?
You just have to assume that when someone enters the restroom, they have to take a piss.
Maybe the guys are going and getting some Viagra it just isn't you. "Where are these men?!" Set and setting influences how marijuana affects you and your sex partner.Here’s the inside marijuana sex story…read this and get hot orgasmic weed sex you’re gonna love…
I agree with everything that you said in above article. If you don't want to bang a guy, just don't bang a guy. Here’s the inside marijuana sex story…read this and get hot orgasmic weed sex you’re gonna love…
Some men are adept enough to read what you're looking for without an explicit statement.
Others are obtuse enough that saying it won't make any difference.
Yet others are aware that there's no way to know, without further conversation, whether "you can't have me" is a simple factual declaration or an invitation to prove her wrong.
In short, the chances of accomplishing any useful communication with this statement are approximately zero.
Oh my God, I just wanna.... Ok Ok look: I just want you to know, I'm not gonna leave a comment on this stupid-ass article. Ok, just sayin, I'm not that kinda girl, just so you know... Ah fuck, I'm here anyway, fuckit let's do this.
Any time I ever said "I'm not banging you" preemptively like that, it was a joke. A way of heightening the suspense. It turns me on just thinking about being told I can't have something; most people want what they can't have. And if you mention sex, even in the "you're not getting any" context, it makes people think about having sex with you. Typical self-centered young female mind trick. And dear columnist, you are good, so good you don't even notice your manipulation. Grow up. I am a pretty sick person, but I wouldn't leave a bar to go home w anyone at closing time unless I was dtf. If I didn't want something sexual that night, I'd get my ass home bc I can choose my own body and my own freakin company. If I really like someone, I can see em tomorrow.
Avoid bars on Ponce and East Atlanta and you should be fine.
Call me crazy, but hanging out with a man late at night while intoxicated and getting high is a recipe for getting raped.
I have no problem with men and women being friends but that friendship should be as clearly established as the relationship that involves sex before time alone together happens.
Be friends or have sex, anything else is either a silly waste of time or someone is playing games.
Creative Loafing Atlanta
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