^ lol. the author's responses to commenters do add a certain...something.
I think this would be a better Onion article with the headline 'Thin Skinned Sex Columnist Writes Long Winded Boring Sex Club Article'.
Fixed. Thanks, WWW.
actually, now that i think about it, maybe *LEERY* is the better choice.
not *WEARY* though.
Oh My God! You've found me out! Yes my angel, I attack your shitty writing because secretly I'm in love with you! I can't help it, I've always had a thing for wannabe Zooey Deschanel barflys who thrive on the adoration of East Atlanta "hipsters" looking for facebook e-pussy.
I know it's comforting to think that I'm coming at you because I like you, although that speaks more to your inflated ego than anything. But to answer the question: I read because this is what's available on CL in the way of sex writing. At least it was. Thank God it no longer is, and I hope the next columnist writes about sex like an adult instead of like a 15 year old giggling over her mother's copy of "Fifty Shades of Grey."
"I deed it" - Eli Porter
Yo Martinez, you want some cheese with that whine?
Yes, because I'm going to out people whose sex lives are private? O-KAY. And yeah, in case you didn't know, STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE SOOOOO BORING. Let's talk more about stereotypes shall we?
Also boring = sex at a swingers club. Duh. You read the story, right? It was the worst! Maybe you should try living your own life instead of vicariously through others. Maybe then you would be satisfied enough to not troll and whine like a hungry baby.
And yeah, I went to a swingers club and didn't swing. How dare I not be the person you want me to be?! I'm so selfish. Yes, let me become what others want me to be so that maybe one day I will have your love and approval by losing myself to the peer pressure of strangers. This story was written just for you, wasn't it? Wait, it wasn't? Right. Player don't care.
As for Dear T From ATL, I must ask, why do you continue to read what I write? It's so funny to me. You keep complaining and whining on every article. Wah wah wah. Blah blah blah. I'm starting to think you're that boy in the playground who hits the girl and calls her names because he's too chicken shit to tell her he likes her. Well, sorry, dear sir, you are not my type. That is to say, I don't like lame name-calling whiney assholes.
This is the only story you've done for this column that wasn't godawful. Ironically, it's your last one. It would have been great if you'd started out this way.
what is it with gay men desperately hoping every hot guy they see is gay?
sorry folks, most of the time it isn't true. welcome to the real world.
So you went to a swingers club three times and had sex with a friend rather than actually swinging. Boring.
"I sip my whiskey, *WARY* of getting drunk "
"I am told there's a very famous Georgia church official in addition to a high-ranking executive in state government who frequent the club."
This is the most interesting part of this whole story. No offense to straight people, but this sounds SO boring.
Interesting, I always wondered if straights had their own version of the gay bathhouse. Would you say that this would be similar? Also, I love love love R Kelly ignition ;)
I thought my ex-fiance was bi-sexual. He told me that he got hit on at work and wherever he went by gay men. One was even the VP of his company. My ex was always bragging about it. In fact, he went to a conference in San Francisco and hung out with a big black guy man who grabbed his ass and constantly teased him about turning him. He even shared a limo with him and went to a fancy restaurant. My ex told me the guy said he was "butch," and my ex was really excited about it. I thought that was really odd. He is a beautiful man and is super manly-- drives a truck, smokes cigars-- but is very, very particular about clothes and hair. He has longer side-burns and keeps his hair short with lots of gel. He uses facial moisturizer, and lots of lip balm constantly. Anyway, when I was San Fran with my ex, he'd only take me to diners and we walked everywhere.
Another time, we were in NYC and saw Priscilla: Queen of the Desert. His brother-in-law got tickets for a fundraiser. We went to dinner beforehand, and we ate at a gay restaurant. The brother-in-law told me that my ex picked the restaurant. When I asked him about it, my ex said it had great Mexican food. I didn't even know he'd been to a gay bar and couldn't figure out who he went with. My ex is a very conservative Republican, while I am a liberal Dem. He didn't want to stay through the whole musical. He wanted to leave during intermission and seemed very uncomfortable. I couldn't figure out why, but the night we went was a gay fundraiser so there were lots of gay men there.
I also found a magazine at his house with another man's name on it. He told me that he shared magazines with this guy at work, but he never, ever talked about this guy. My ex was very wealthy and I couldn't figure out why he'd share a magazine with a guy at work.
When we attended a wedding together, my ex- danced with my gay friend when I went to the bathroom. My gay friend told me that he spun him around and even dipped him. My ex never did any of that with me. My gay friend told me that he got a "down low" vibe from him.
Our sex life was good but he also wanted to have anal sex, which I wasn't interested. He'd try a lot and mostly didn't seem to look at me when we were having sex. There was a lack of emotional intimacy in our sex. He also had a real aversion to getting blood on his cock and freaked out when I was just starting my period. I never had a guy do that before.
We had a long distance relationship for two years and eventually got engaged, but he called it off 3 months before the wedding. He's 47 and never been married. He has lived with a couple of women, but for very short periods of time. He tries to stay friends with his ex-girlfriends, some of whom were very masculine but there are others that were very glamorous and had voluptuous figures. We had to triple date with his ex-live-in and her male partner almost every time I visited. It was really uncomfortable.
At work, he never seemed to have male friends, just females that were friends with benefits (and he wanted to invite them to our wedding and to our house when he got married). The odd thing was he never told anyone at work that he was getting married. He would flirt with women...and if a man flirted with him, he was really flattered too and flirted back.
I also noticed that his Linked-In account had tons of very good-looking young guys from NYC in fields that were not related to his at all. I couldn't figure out how he knew them. Most of them were students at Columbia and NYU.
He told me that he was canceling our wedding because he couldn't be himself. He said that he enjoyed flirting with women in front of me and knew that I didn't like it and he wanted to invite his ex-girlfriends to our home and that wasn't appealing to me either. Nothing he said really made sense.
I asked him if he was bi-sexual and he said no, but there were a lot of strange coincidences that made me think otherwise.
Do you think he is bisexual or gay and in the closet?
Yeah, it's called the "rutting season" or "hormones gone wild." Young people are incapable of writing about love because they haven't know it.
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with lust, sex, or romance, it's just not love. Until you've known someone long enough for the infatuation to dissipate, you can't say you love them.
Someday when you look in your partners eyes and see the humanity, goodness, and inner beauty that is that is the essence of that person, you can say you love them.
But don't let it ruin your Summer. Have fun!
http://soundcloud.com/mrholliewood/sets/fa… hey this is me singing on this track more to come.
tell me what you think if so pass it around
You all are being far too critical of his answer. He isn't saying to accept all things bad because they are inevitable (although even that is true). The difference between a dating felony and a dating misdeneanor isn't clearly established, but I take it he meant along the lines of quirks in personalities and differences in opinions. Not going out and cheating, alcoholism, or just plain immaturity. If you can't accept faults in personalities then it's your own personality that's faulted. If I had to answer anyone's question in this forum, especially one like what tired asked I'd say that your probably immediately looking for the bad in relationships. My own current girlfriend and I would have failed a long time ago had I not fallen so far in love with her before given the opportunity to completely come to terms with all her faults. And let me just say, it is so much easier to look past them now then it would have been a year ago, and it is SO worth every second with her. I don't care what anyone says, every man can be a gentleman and your diluted and stuck in a fairy tale world if that is all your looking for princess.
Creative Loafing Atlanta
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