"Go getters" eh?
I have a feeling a lot of you Atlanta ladies looking for these types of guys need to "go get" yourselves on a treadmill for a few months or reevaluate your "market value."
But... I suppose those flaky, neurotic "art" obsessed scenester babes are the female equivalent of the slothful, uninspiring male that you ladies see to find so prevalent in Atlanta.
Both of yehs aren't exactly the beautiful people of America, now are yeh? It's a wonder anybody in that town can successfully reproduce outside of that small window when Dragon Con is in town.
I have an idea, go get more obnoxious tattoos, put on gaudy Bettie Page makeup, and cackle and scream at the top of your lungs and I'm sure some of them "go getters" will show up.
Well, as far as that picture goes, I think she has it backwards. If I beat her then she needs to be copping my joint.
I moved to Atlanta July 2011 from Magic City and now I am married. Don't get me wrong I didn't come to this city "to find love", it isn't Paris or whatever. I've always been a staunch espouser of single-dom and getting my career and life in place instead of finding husband. Oddly enough, I got hitched a month ago to an awesome guy. He was literally under my nose the whole time. He worked in the downstairs bar in my apartment complex. In true love-at-first-sight fashion we met and 2 hours later were on a date watching 'No Bunny', playing rock paper scissors, and the rest is history. Maybe it was a fluke, but I found my mate in ATL.
how many of the nice guys in atlanta are stuck in the friend zone, right where the girls put them?
She sounds high maintenance which is why go getters like myself aren't taking the bait.
Just a thought, but I think it may be less about the lack of ambitious, solid men in Atlanta and more about the quality of the circle you may be picking from. A little advice- step outside the usual suspects and you may be pleasantly surprised.
Ah, the ages-old "where are all the good guys?" argument. It's a universal truism: the good ones get snatched up quickly, or at least that's how it seems. You're already looking for a guy in that sweet spot of "boring enough to be responsible" and "fun enough to be fun", of which there are not many. Then you're looking for guys that are not 1) in a relationship, 2) in a post-relationship sex frenzy, 3) concentrating on things besides dating, or 4) totally jaded on relationships. Statistically speaking, these dudes are going to be hard to find whether you're in Atlanta or NYC or Paducah. And beyond all that, you still have to find someone you're compatible with.
But if it's any consolation, dudes are going through the same thing.
However, don't even get me started about girls who constantly bitch about how much they just want to find a nice guy, when they keep dating asshole bartenders and dudes in bands...
The lies women tell themselves. The problem is that women couldn't recognize a great guy even if he were to show up with flowers everyday.
"Where are these men?!" If they are smart (and apparently they are) they are staying as far away from women looking for "go-getting inspiring guys" as possible. Maybe the guys are going and getting but it just isn't you.
Go getting guys usually "go" somewhere their dream has a chance. ATL is where you "go" when that didn't work out and you just want a cheaper house.
@Voxpopuli - Do you really equate 'go-getting' with money?
That's not how I mean it, and I suspect neither does the chick who wrote in -- Oh, and for the record, I don't get offended if someone calls me a "chick" so long as it's not said in a derogatory manner, dude. :)
OK. I'll put it this way from my perspective. I was once in a serious relationship with a guy who wouldn't go to the gym unless I was going to the gym and said, "Hey, do you want to come to the gym with me?" Nor did he go to the coffee shop or elsewhere to study unless I said, "Hey, wanna go to the coffee shop and get some work done?"
Conversely, I have a male friend of mine, who -- man, he shames me. (Not really. Kinda.) How? He's got his shit together. He comes home, goes to the gym, then back to the house where he cooks a healthy and delicious meal, then watches TV for a bit, then goes to sleep early. It's his routine. He's healthy, happy, etc. Here's some of the kinds of guys I've met who aren't "go-getters": "Wanna go to the show? Wanna go to the bar? Wanna go to the show? Wanna go to the bar?" Yeah, uh, not hot.
Or I've heard guys say they want to open up a business, but they didn't study business, nor do they do research. They just go to the bar and every time I see them they're like, "Yeah, I'm going to open a bar (or whatever)." My response is polite but in my head I'm thinking, "Do you KNOW how expensive that is. Are you looking for investors? Are you doing ANYTHING to make YOUR dream a reality."
Another point: I know this guy who was not happy with his 9-to-5 job. He quit to pursue his art, and, damn, he's doing well. BUT! He's not *talking* about his dream, he's *making* his dream a reality.
Aside from when I'm dicking around, which I assure you I probably do too much, I spend a lot of my time going, "OK. Your dream job is to be write for Esquire and GQ? Cool. How are you going to do that? I should probably get better at Photoshop. Or I should reach out and get more freelance work. Or, why does my body hurt so much? Oh, because I've been lazy and havent' been to the gym. I should probably work out more." Etc.
Another point: About seven years ago I worked as a paraglegal at a law firm in Midtown. At 22, I made bank. Way more than now, including my full time gig, my freelance gigs, and my serving gig combined. But, I hated my job. I hated where I was headed. And then one day, I put in my notice. I quit without knowing what I was doing other than I wanted a full time writing gig. And that's what I did. I got one. And now seven years later, I'm broke as fuck all the time, but I'm happy and I'm doing what I want and what I've wanted to do since I was 15. "Go-getting" means going and getting what you want -- whatever that may be.
Gah. What a rand. In any case, I hope you catch my drift.
It really breaks my heart when men think all women are after is money and when women think all men are pigs. That's so far from the case. We're awesome. We all are. We need to stop being so fast to make a generalization and give each other a shot at explaining ourselves and what we want and realize that if a partner doesn't agree with you, it's not personal, you're not compatible. Say goodbye nicely and move on. :)
Perhaps I'm missing what the term means...but 'go-getting' makes me feel like the first question in the conversation will be "So, what do you do?" (i.e. for money). You can think it makes me sound like a Seinfeld sketch, but the least thing I need is a woman sizing me up monetarily before the conversation has even had a chance to grow organically.
Again, may be I'm just missing what "go getting" means.
No worries with the 'dude' part...as long as the gal doesn't mind being called 'chick' in return :).
As for NYC I've had dates that cost $25 that were more enjoyable than spending $1000 for a night out. If you enjoy being with each other and the chemistry exists why sweat the other stuff?
@Voxpopuli - If you are really limiting your partner based on something as trivial as the term "go getting" then I don't know what to tell you. Duly noted. Go forward. Prosper. But realize you sound like a Seinfeld sketch.
I don't think Id ever want to go out with a woman who uses the term "go getting dudes".
(Then again maybe my type of female isn't one updating Facebook every 20 minutes via her boost mobile phone instead of actual human interaction)
VENUS - just do what I did - head to a dirty strip club with your pals, get smashed, meet a hot guy at the bar (but don't go home with him), immediately forget that you met, let your coworkers remind you that it happened, and then get married. It's that simple.
@Unclesushi - Of course there are decent go getting dudes here in Atlanta! I mean, I haven't found many of them, but that certainly does not mean they don't exist to any capacity. However, I will add that, just because a man is decent, go-getting, and/or successful, that's not the end all be all, you know? You have to have chemistry with a person. It's not personal, it just is what it is. People click or don't.
You say, "If I don't bend you over my dinning room table the first time you show up to my apartment, don't be so disappointed. I can't treat you like a hoe so don't expect me to." Haha. Well, maybe not the first night, but you know how the phrase goes, a lady in streets, a freak in the sheets. Just because we want to be dirty girls in bed doesn't make us a hoe. OK, so maybe don't bend her over the table on the first date, but I hope you don't see her as a virginal figure who can't get down. I don't understand why it has to be one or the other, a slut or a saint. Isn't both the ideal?
And as for people who use others or write them off so easily ... yeah, those people suck. But then again, that seems to be a pattern your friend has that he needs to work on. How does he keep attracting the same type of horrid women? He's the only common factor. Do you see where I'm coming from? It's like girls who only date assholes and then are shocked when he cheats. It's like, Gurl, we all saw that coming a mile away. No sympathy from my end -- male or female.
You also said, "I think often the qualities that we display are NOT what the ladies are looking for." It's true. Look. I like nice dudes. Nice as in, when i'm sick they'll bring or make me soup (and I would do the same, of course), guys that tell me I'm pretty (same on my end), that I'm smart (same). BUT! I think guys are so afraid or guilted into treating women with respect, that they let themselves become doormats. Being nice is not enough for us. For anyone. A man can be an assertive male without being an asshole. But if you're a softy pushover, we don't want that either, and we can usually tell when we meet a guy that's like that instantaneously. So, yeah, he may be sweet, and ambitious, but if he's a limp dick in life, meh. Pass. Just sayin'. :)
it's that easy for oydave. u know what they say about guys with horse heads...
There are decent go getting dudes here in Atlanta. Guys who are not boring and are successful. I think often the qualities that we display are NOT what the ladies are looking for. When I go out with many ladies here I feel like they EXPECT me to be a player. They act like they only want me to hit it a few times and then fade into the past. If you want your man to treat you like the magnificent woman you are you have to EXPECT him to treat you that way. If I walk you to your car after a date, don't be surprised. Thats the way my Momma raised me. If I don't bend you over my dinning room table the first time you show up to my apartment, don't be so disappointed. I can't treat you like a hoe so don't expect me to.
I'm an ambitious bachelor, but I have a buddy who is further along in his career than I am and he has it worse than I do. He loves to take a lady out and treat her well, but all they do is use him. This dude is already a success, but he gets abused by the ladies he comes across. He is not ugly either.
If you are wondering where these guys are, ask your friends. They have most likely already written them off.
As for dating, Atlanta is NOT the city for dating. It lacks romance. Most of the population lives in the suburbs. The city is too insular. People simply don't come into contact with many other people. And as for decent guys? Nope. They're out there, few and far between, but people in Atlanta have settled for Atlanta. Guys here are sedentary--sure, you'll see 'em, playing in bands, out at bars, dry-humping their day jobs---but all in all, Atlanta as the best city for dating, packed full with prospective hotties? Forget it.
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