The Rapture: A Special Report 

Your fun-packed guide to the end of time. Who goes, who stays, what to wear.

Christians! Christians! Christians! They're everywhere these days! And they're in charge!

Religious fundamentalists have taken over our government, from Georgia's Gold Dome to the White House. They're all over in the media - from Ten Commandment battles in Alabama to the Terri Schiavo feeding-tube fest in Florida.

They're fighting to rid our schools of evolution and to make it really, really difficult to get a divorce. They're passing laws to keep families together and to keep homosexuals out of wedding chapels. And when it comes to culture, they're even bigger than the Beatles!

But not for long.

Any day now - the scary signs are popping up all over - Atlanta's most God-fearing Christians will be sucked directly into heaven. It's foretold, they say, in obscure Bible passages that predict, if you read between the lines, the so-called Rapture.

The rest of us will remain on Earth for the final days, which will be like some kind of total intergalactic bummer. And Christians will watch from heaven while we suffer hell on Earth.

Of course, if this Rapture business is all just some demented religious freak's fantasy, then the Christians will remain in charge of everything down here. They'll just continue creating hell on Earth for those who haven't seen the light. It's a lose-lose proposition.

No matter. The Rapture's all the rage nowadays with everyone, even in godless Hollywood!

After tuning into NBC's hot miniseries "Revelations," some of you may be hankering for more end-of-time infotainment. Well, blow the bugle, Gabriel, because CL has come to the rescue! We'll explain what the Rapture is all about, and we'll guide you to a wide range of trusty and helpful websites where you can find out more. We'll even help you figure out if you're the Antichrist!

We'll also give you an easy-to-follow picture story about what (according to experts) the Rapture might be like. Imagine, if you will, listening on that fateful day to good old Capt. Herb Emory, the traffic guru at WSB-AM (750). He'll have the best seat in the house!



Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

Latest in Cover Story

  • Goat Farm Economics 5

    Can art and good old-fashioned capitalism breathe new life into one of Atlanta’s most historic and overlooked neighborhoods?
  • Room escape games have arrived in Atlanta 4

    Why people are paying to get locked inside small rooms — for fun!
  • Room escape pro tips

    A social psychologist and game creators offer winning strategies for first-timers and room escape veterans
  • More »

More by Doug Monroe

Atlanta Holiday Gift Guide
Atlanta Holiday Gift Guide

Search Events

  1. HIV crisis needs a solution

    Metro Atlanta's leaders must invest in meaningful, progressive prevention programs
  2. Atlanta Holiday Gift Guide 1

    More than 50 ideas for local goods to give
  3. Get covered, Atlanta 8

    HHS Secretary talks health insurance, Medicaid expansion

Recent Comments

© 2015 Creative Loafing Atlanta
Powered by Foundation