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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

BALL OF CONFUSION: Three men reportedly walked in and started shooting paintballs inside a small grocery store on Joseph E. Boone Boulevard. "The paintballs went all over the walls and damaged some merchandise," a police officer wrote. The store owner said a paintball hit his Ford Explorer parked outside, and possibly left a dent. The owner said this is the second time a paintball attack happened at his store, and he is very concerned for his customers.

No items were reported missing or stolen – just the alleged paintball incident. Police told the owner to pull the surveillance videotapes in hopes that the suspects could be identified. The three suspects reportedly left in a gold Nissan Altima.

STRANGE BIRD: A man said he was driving on Jefferson Street around 7 p.m., when he saw another man screaming and standing in the road. The driver said he slowed down to avoid hitting the screaming man. However, he said the screaming man pointed both middle fingers at him, as if he was daring the driver to hit him. The driver said he tried to go around the screaming man, but the screaming man hit his side-view mirror with the backs of his hands.

The screaming man was still there when a police officer arrived. "[He] advised me he had no memory of what happened," the officer wrote. The backs of the man's hands were slightly red and he was slurring and having trouble standing still, the officer wrote. The man, 42, went to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

PIGGY PANTS: A man allegedly took four packs of pork ribs, stuffed them down his pants, and tried to leave a grocery store on Cascade Avenue. A security guard detained the man until police arrived. The 45-year-old man went to jail on a shoplifting charge. (The pork ribs are worth $52.)

PAINSTAKING EFFORT: A man said his business -- a pain center -- was burglarized in April. The man alleges the following items were stolen: 14 oxygen tanks; a crash cart; a storage unit; two gurneys; $2,500 worth of pain medication; a data center; and $4,200 worth of miscellaneous items, including needles and medical supplies. The man said he suspects two disgruntled employees -- both doctors -- because he recently had a verbal disagreement with them and therefore attributes the alleged theft to their disagreement.

According to the police report, the alarm system never went off and there were no signs of forced entry at the medical business on Stone Hogan Connector. No viable fingerprints were obtained from the scene.

UNGRATEFUL SON? On Perry Boulevard, a 48-year-old woman said her son was threatening her. She said her son is on medication and he came to her home saying he was going to get people to "kill her." Also, the mother said her son was spreading rumors about her having AIDS around the apartment complex. The mother's caretaker said he did hear the son make threats against the mother. The 20-year-old son does not live with the mother, but she wanted the incident documented.

WALKING IN THE RAIN: Around 10:30 a.m., an officer reported a suspicious woman allegedly walking on the shoulder of I-20. The woman allegedly flagged down a white van. "The female suspect had her shirt down, exposing her bra and breasts, while carrying her black coat in her hand," an officer wrote. "It was raining at the time, during the incident."

The officer stopped his patrol car and turned on his blue emergency lights. "The white van pulled away from the scene," the officer wrote. The woman said she was on her way to a truck stop. She said she was just walking to the truck stop and she wasn't soliciting a ride. The officer wrote, "I advised [the woman] it wasn't safe on the expressway and she stated, 'The police is always fucking with me!'"

The woman allegedly resisted when the officer tried to handcuff her. Once she was inside the patrol car, the woman allegedly spit at the officer and said, "Fuck you! Fuck the police! As soon as you take off these handcuffs I'm going to fuck you up. I fight the police and I hate all you motherfuckers. I kill your ass bitch." The woman, 39, went to jail on several charges. The reporting officer said he checked her name and she had several similar previous arrests.

WHAT'S THE LESSON HERE? Nineteen Apple desktop computers were allegedly stolen from a charter school on Tiger Flowers Drive. A police officer responded to the call at about 5:30 a.m., and spoke with a school security guard, who said the computer room had been broken into again. "He stated that the school has an alarm, but it has been malfunctioning," the officer wrote.

Apparently, the security guard got several alarm hits on his phone, between about midnight and 1:30 a.m. "He stated that he received alarm notices advising alarm hits to his cell phone but could not respond due to him being at work for the Fulton County Sheriff's Office. ... He stated sometimes while working the sex offender unit, he can't answer to respond to the alarms, but he couldn't say what he was actually doing at the time the alarm came in," the police officer wrote. "He also stated that there is a trailer out back of the school with additional computers in it that were used to replace the ones that were taken in a burglary earlier in the week."

The officer went into the school's computer room and noticed two shattered windows. "There was a rock sitting on a table and another rock sitting on the floor," he wrote.

The school has a video surveillance system, but the security guard said only the principal knows how to work it and the picture is not good. The police officer wrote, "I attempted to use the device with permission and the picture appeared good but I could not get it to play back."

Police photographed the scene. School representatives said they would follow up with serial numbers for the computers.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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