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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

HANGING ON THE TELEPHONE: A 36-year-old man said he returned to his apartment and noticed that someone had kissed his door seven times. "This was known as the perpetrator was wearing lipstick at the time and the lip prints were clearly visible on the door," an officer wrote. "The victim had photographed the lip prints using his cellular phone and displayed the picture for me." The man said seven days later, he started getting lots of calls from a private number. He said he answered one call and a male voice asked over and over: "Do you want to suck my dick?" Five days later, more calls came from the private number. The man said he answered a call and a male voice repeated, "Do you want to suck my dick?" The man said the caller appears to be disguising his voice and has a possible Middle Eastern accent. The man has no idea who is making the obscene calls.

TRACKING THE PILLS: A 46-year-old man in a wheelchair rolled into the police precinct at Underground Atlanta. He said he last saw his medication (five different types of painkillers from Grady Memorial Hospital) inside his bookbag, the night before. He said the next morning around 7, he noticed a small hole in the bottom of his bookbag, which is attached to the back of his wheelchair. The officer noted that the man was in a known drug area on Broad Street when he noticed the medication was missing. The man said he didn't see anyone in the area where he had been sitting. "[The man] thought that perhaps a dog chewed a hole in the bottom of his bookbag and the medication fell out," the officer wrote. He said he needed a police report to go to Grady Hospital to have his medication replaced.

GOLDIELOCKS GETS PISSED: A 60-year-old man said his girlfriend, nicknamed "Goldie," bit his index finger. Also, he said Goldie took a kitchen knife and cut the right side of his face, near his mouth. The cuts were visible, but he refused medical treatment. Apparently, the dispute was about a set of keys that the 60-year-old man wanted returned. He said he has been letting Goldie live at his apartment on Myrtle Drive because she has nowhere else to go. Goldie fled before police arrived. He described Goldie as very skinny, with a hair weave, and with gold bottom teeth.

THE X FILES: On Meadowbrook Drive, a woman said she walked out of her home and noticed a glass jar in front of her driveway. The jar appeared to be burned: It contained paper towels and a small amount of gasoline. Also, a tire was completely flat on a car belonging to the woman's male friend. He said someone had cut the tire's valve stems. The woman said two valve stems were cut on her car's tires. She suspects her ex-husband. She said she recently sent him an e-mail outlining what would happen if she did not get a child-support payment by a certain date.

A STORY ABOUT JACK: An officer responded to a dispute on Campbell Street. A 41-year-old man said he gave his gold 1997 Mercury Cougar to a man named "Jack" around 2 a.m. He said Jack wanted to go to the BP station and was supposed to return around 4 a.m.

According to the officer's written report: "I asked, 'What is Jack's last name?' He replied, 'I don't know.' I asked 'How long have you known him?' He said, 'I've been knowing him for a while.' I said, 'How long?' He replied, 'Two months.'"

The officer continued: "I said, 'So let me get this straight, you gave your vehicle to a person you have known for two months, named Jack with no last name, so he could go [to] the store around 2 a.m. this morning?' He said, 'Yeah, that's right.' I said, 'You are missing some parts of the story.' He said, 'That's it, I've told you what happened.'"

A few seconds later, the man reportedly said, "I think Jack is his nickname."

The officer continued: "I said, 'So now you have given your vehicle to a person that you don't even know his real name?' He said, 'Yeah.' I said, 'You are not telling me the whole truth about this incident.'"

Eventually, the man looked down and said, "I sold the car for crack." Turns out, he doesn't even own the gold Mercury Cougar ... it belongs to a woman.

MAD MOMMA: A 30-year-old woman said her mother assaulted her underneath a bridge on Marietta Street. "[She] could not give an accurate location besides underneath a bridge," an officer wrote. The woman said her mother used her walking cane to hit her upside the head. The woman's boyfriend said he witnessed the incident. The boyfriend, age 49, said the altercation happened because the mother doesn't approve of their relationship. He said he felt threatened by the mother. An officer wrote, "I was not able to see any visible markings or scars on [the woman] as a result of this attack."

DEFENDING MOMMA: An officer responded to a call on Whitaker Street. A 21-year-old man was bleeding from his left hand. He said his brother got into a fight because he yelled at his mother -- and that made his brother mad. He said his brother stabbed him in the hand and ran away.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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