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Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports 

POO-POO TO YOU: On Garson Drive, a 29-year-old woman said she left her apartment at 9:05 a.m. to go to work. She said when she opened the front door, she found a bag of dog waste sitting there. She said the bag of dog waste wasn't there when she came home the night before. She wanted a police report, just in case the dog waste incidents continue in the future.

POO-POO TO YOU, TOO: A landlord said his tenant left his rental house about two weeks ago -- without telling him. The landlord said the tenant vandalized the house by removing plumbing pipes, causing water damage to the floors and carpet. According to the police report, "Two doors were damaged and trash throughout the house, including defecation on the floors." Total damage estimated at $3,000.

DECORATING WARS: A West End couple got into a fight in the Family Dollar parking lot on Joseph E. Lowery Boulevard. The officers reported that a 42-year-old woman was yelling and advancing toward a 53-year-old man in an aggressive manner. "While [he] was retreating from [her], she lounged at him and took multiple swings with her fists -- but she failed to make any contact with the man. She surrendered without a problem, officers noted. The man said the woman is his old lady and they were fighting over curtains in their home. She went to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

FLASHY GETAWAY: A 28-year-old man and a 21-year-old man said they were robbed around 6 p.m., near the dumpsters at Forest Cove Apartments on New Town Circle. They said a man pulled out a gun and put it to both their heads, and took their wallets. They said after the alleged robbery, the man fled the scene on a "white girl's bicycle."

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS: Around 11:30 a.m., an officer reportedy heard about a man with a facial cut in Woodruff Park. The man allegedly crossed Peachtree Street without using a crosswalk -- and he was having a hard time maintaining his balance. The officer approached the man and noticed a cut between ¼ and ½ an inch near his right eye. Also, one lens was missing from the man's glasses and the metal frame was broken, the officer reported. "When I asked what had happened, [the man] said nothing was wrong with his face or his glasses. He even reached up and touched the wound and when I asked the same question a minute later, he said nothing was wrong with his face." The officer noted the man's slurred speech and his bloodshot eyes. The 52-year-old man admitted that he had been drinking alcoholic beverages. He went to jail for disorderly conduct under the influence. He's not a broke man: His personal property included $216.53 cash on him, plus a non-activated MasterCard.

BLEEDING FACE FOR CHIPS: At a convenience store on Sylvan Road, the owner said she was behind the counter when a 24-year-old man grabbed about five Cheetos chip bags and tried to leave without paying. She said she confronted the man and asked him to pay -- and he punched her in the face. She said she grabbed a glass beer bottle and hit his face because she was afraid for her safety. She said the man -- now bleeding from the face -- left the store. Police found him about three blocks away. The man, age 37, was charged with strong-arm robbery. He went to Grady Memorial Hospital for his injuries.

FLYING HIGH? An officer got a call about a drunk person who reportedly collapsed on the A Concourse at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. A 26-year-old man from Tampa, Fla., was on the ground. He reportedly told medics that he had taken a mixture of Xanax, Oxycontin, and alcohol. "He further stated that he had taken about 12 Xanax and about six Oxycontin pills." Medics took him to South Fulton Hospital.

HOW TO LOSE YOUR JOB: An officer investigated a fight between two employees at a bar on Centennial Olympic Parkway. A 27-year-old woman said during a staff meeting, she got into a verbal argument with a fellow employee, a 23-year-old man. Apparently, she threw a soda on him. Then, he threw his cell phone at her, striking her face and causing a bruise. The male employee left before police arrived. The bar manager said both employees were fired as a result of the fight.

SIGN THE ECONOMY SUCKS, # 799: A burglary was reported at a vacant, bank-owned home on Joseph E. Boone Boulevard. Apparently, someone removed the rear burglar bar door and took the interior door completely out of the wall. "A Frigidaire overhead microwave ($250), a Frigidaire refrigerator ($500), a water heater ($1,000) and an entire furnace ($2500) were reported stolen," the officer wrote. "The houses to the back and the left of the house are vacant."

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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