The Blotter 

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

THE INCARCERATION OF MIMI: Police got a tip that a woman with the street name "Mimi" might be selling drugs from a motel room on Metropolitan Parkway. So police went to the motel room and knocked on the door. A woman opened the door, and she was holding a suspected crack pipe in one hand and a vibrator in the other hand, an officer noted. The woman "was naked except for a bra." The officer asked if she was Mimi and she said yes. The officer asked her to hand over the suspected crack pipe. Apparently, Mimi tried to slam the door, but the officer stuck his foot in the door before it closed. After police searched the motel room, Mimi allegedly admitted she had bought $100 worth of crack earlier that day and sold some of it because she ran out of money. According to the police report, Mimi is a 31-year-old prostitute with a scar on her forehead. She was arrested for drug possession.

BIZARRE NICKNAME OF THE WEEK: On McDonough Boulevard, a woman allegedly approached an undercover officer and offered sex for $18. She said her nickname is "Shorty Fivehead," the officer noted. The 25-year-old woman was arrested for soliciting sex.

TO THE POKEY, PLEASE: Officers responded to a fight call on Joseph E. Boone Boulevard. A 46-year-old woman said she and her boyfriend argued earlier that day. According to the police report, officers tried to get more information from her, but she became uncooperative, saying, "I'ma kill that bastard" and "I want to go to jail." Officers asked her to calm down and she allegedly used profanity and fighting words toward citizens in the area. An officer noted, "We then advised [her] that if she was not going to cooperate, we will not be able to help her." Then, the woman allegedly yelled profanities at police. The officers asked her to leave and she refused, saying she wanted to go to jail. An officer wrote: "I then asked [the woman] if she had been drinking, [and] she stated, 'Yep, and I'm mentally and emotionally unstable, so take me to jail so I can get three hots and a cot.'" The officers told the woman she really needed to leave. Apparently, she started walking toward the road, then stopped and said, "Fuck this shit!" and threw a piece of chicken and some napkins. She was arrested for disorderly conduct while intoxicated.

THE "X" FILES: A 37-year-old man said he called 911 because his ex-girlfriend rode by his job four times in one morning. He said the ex-girlfriend "has stolen his ID, egged his vehicle, sent naked pictures and verbally threatened his mother," an officer wrote. Another officer had warned the ex-girlfriend to stay away from the man's home, because she tried to make a false police report. Previously, the man had filed a police report accusing his ex-girlfriend of stealing his car because she had a tow truck pick it up. The man said his ex-girlfriend is supposed to be moving back to Florida, but right now she's living with her mother in an apartment in Atlanta.

CRACKING UP? A 53-year-old man allegedly walked into traffic on Lenox Road. "The suspect just stood in the middle of the street, jumping up and down, moving his arms back and forth," an officer wrote. Police detained him on Cheshire Bridge Road. "He stated that he had been doing crack cocaine and had not slept in four days. He also stated that he wanted to kill somebody, if he could." The officer charged him with disorderly conduct and took him to jail. The man's lock-blade knife was turned in to police property.

LUDDITE LAW? Outside a Midtown hotel, an officer stopped a taxi driver and asked to see his map. The taxi driver "attempted to look for it, then stated he forgot it in his other car, but showed me his GPS system," the officer wrote. "I explained to him he needs a paper map." The officer gave him a ticket for "driver did not have map."

ROUND AND ROUND: An officer said he tracked a Chevy Trailblazer going 109 mph on I-75 north. The officer said he followed the car and the driver blew off a stop sign on Ridgewood Road. Eventually, the officer stopped the car and spoke with the driver, a 22-year-old man. "He stated he was going to Marietta." The officer asked the man if knew where he was right now. "He 'stated Peachtree City, Ga.' then he stated he was in north Atlanta," the officer wrote. A few minutes later, the officer asked again: Do you know where you are? "He stated, 'Right now, I do not know where I am at.'" Eventually, the man said he'd had one beer -- and it was 1 percent alcohol. He was arrested for DUI. Police found an open bottle of vodka on the floorboard.

PAJAMA DRAMA: A 58-year-old man flagged down a police officer around 7:30 a.m. He said his girlfriend tried to stab him with a knife at their home on Custer Way. He said the girlfriend had been out all night drinking and came home at 4 a.m. -- and they argued, and she tore up a room and tried to stab him. The girlfriend said she actually came home at 10 p.m. -- and she had called police last month about her boyfriend trying to stab her. According to the police report, the 41-year-old girlfriend wore pajamas with a wallet hanging around her neck. (The Blotter Diva says: Perhaps she deserves some tips from the fashion police.) She went to jail on an aggravated assault charge.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words. Want more? Listen to the Blotter Diva on 92.9's (Dave FM) "The Zakk Tyler Morning Show" every Tuesday between 6:30-7 a.m.


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