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Pink panty protagonist 

One afternoon, a 34-year-old New Orleans woman was arrested for DUI and other charges after a car accident on Ponce de Leon Avenue.

NOT SO PRETTY IN PINK: One afternoon, a 34-year-old New Orleans woman was arrested for DUI and other charges after a car accident on Ponce de Leon Avenue. Inside the patrol car, the woman repeatedly kicked the door and said she badly needed to go to the bathroom. An officer wrote, "[She] said she had some kind of infection and she was close to urinating on herself." The officer took her to a nearby restroom. After that, the woman reportedly asked the officer to just drop her off in Decatur because the car she was driving belonged to her "sugar daddy." En route to jail, she promised she would not drive in Atlanta anymore. "At one point, the female became very upset and said she could not go to jail because she was wearing pink underwear, and that going to jail in pink underwear was the same as going to jail in dirty underwear."

STORAGE CHEST: Around 9:30 a.m., an officer talked to two women on Pine Street. The officer asked one woman for her name. "When she started speaking, she bent over to fix her shoes and when she did, I could clearly see a clear bag with a lot of suspected crack cocaine between her breast[s]," the officer wrote. The other woman said, "You got my baby's candy in your shirt," and reached between the woman's breasts. "[She] was trying to push the bag down deeper in the woman's shirt," the officer wrote. Both women were arrested and taken to jail. Both are age 24.

PAY YOUR TAXES ... OR FACE HER: A 29-year-old woman, who works as a special agent with the IRS, said someone broke into her government-issued car outside her house on Field Street. Items reported missing: a bulletproof vest ($800) and "helmet and web gear" (worth $400).

BLOODY WEIRD: A woman said her alarm company contacted her about four hours ago, because the alarm was going off at her home on Oakview Road. She said she assumed her dog had set off the alarm, since it goes off every day. But when she got home, she noticed someone had used two small rocks to break a window (the rocks were found inside). But nothing was missing from the house -- nada. "There was one drop of blood on the wood floor next to the entrance to a bedroom, and a drop of blood on the sheet on the bed," an officer wrote. "There were also two large dirt footprints on the same bed next to the blood." No suspects.

PEOPLE STEAL WEIRD SHIT: A 60-year-old woman said she returned to her home on Adrian Place, after being out of town for two weeks. She said the car window on her gold VW was broken and her hearing aids are missing.

At a dialysis clinic on Ponce de Leon Avenue, the manager said someone stole the postage-stamp meter (worth $1,400). The manager said there are no signs of forced entry and she believes an employee might be responsible.

TOO SEXY TO PAY CASH: At Atlantic Station's Victoria's Secret, an employee said two men put stuff into a bag and left without paying. Security stopped one man carrying the bag. It contained Victoria's Secret Very Sexy Spray for Her ($88), two bottles of Very Sexy Cologne for Him ($303 total) and a Very Sexy handbag ($39). Police charged the 40-year-old man with shoplifting.

SMELLS LIKE STRANGE SPIRIT: Police got a call about suspicious smells at a Buckhead condo on Peachtree Street. A man said "he has been smelling a really strong smell of possible meth coming into his condo for the past two weeks," an officer wrote. He said he believes the smell is coming from the condo underneath him. He said on Saturday night, the smell was so bad, he woke up feeling sick and light-headed. A police officer knocked on the door of the condo below, "but there was no answer and no suspicious smells coming from the unit." Nothing further.

MISPLACED ANGER? A 32-year-old woman said a co-worker came to her apartment on Alison Court, because she was going to give him a ride to a funeral. She said he got mad because the car wouldn't start, and he beat on her front door. She said she locked her door, so he couldn't come inside. She said he yelled, "I'm gonna kick in your door" and "I'm gonna bust every window in your house." He hit a window with his hand, breaking the window, then left. "There was blood on the window from [his] hand," an officer noted.

MIDDLE-AGED SUMMER OF LOVE? Around 12:30 a.m. on Jett Street, an officer saw "two people lying down under a building and it appeared as if they didn't have any clothes on." The officer reportedly got closer and saw a 52-year-old woman "lying down without any pants on" and a 50-year-old man laying behind her, fondling her genital area. The officer wrote, "I asked them both what they were doing, and they both stated they were just talking." They were arrested for public indecency.

STUPID MOVE OF THE WEEK: Around 11:45 a.m. in Woodruff Park, a man allegedly had his penis on view, as he stood in front of a trash can. The officer asked, "What are you doing near the trash can?" The man said he was urinating into the trash can because he has a weak bladder. "[The man] was standing about two feet from a city outdoor public restroom," the officer noted. The man went to jail on a public urination charge.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words. Want more? Listen to the Blotter Diva on 92.9's (Dave FM) "The Zakk Tyler Morning Show" every Tuesday between 6:30-7 a.m.

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