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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Weirdest cookbooks: cooking that'll get you laid, closer to Jesus or just disgusted

weirdest cookbooks

I was given a copy of Cook to Bang: The lay cook's guide to getting laid by Spencer Walker. It made me wonder about some of the other bizarre cookbooks out there, so I searched around the series of tubes and found a few, including some that are NSFW and NSFM (not safe for mind). They can all be bought online if you're so inclined.

Start with the obvious, Cook to Bang. Imagine if Barney Stinson from "How I Met Your Mother" wrote a cookbook. "He's" already written a self-help book, after all. Some of the terminology borders on offensive, but there's actually a lot of helpful advice about cooking, pairing with booze, pairing foods, preparation and presentation in here (and a guide to different types of women and men that is, again, somewhat politically incorrect).

Booty Food kind of follows the same "food and sex are related" idea as Cook to Bang, with recipes following the typical timeline of a relationship. Apparently, though, all the recipes are serious, and the samples sound seriously good.

What Would Jesus Eat Cookbook: Loaves, fishes and lots of wine? Nope, try a healthy Mediterranean diet high on grains, fish, olive oil and fresh fruits and veggies. I wonder if the author is ever asked if he's related to another Colbert...

Last Dinner on the Titanic, for everyone who wants to party like it's 1912 and they're about to hit the big iceberg. Maybe a little morbid. Make sure to rearrange the deck chairs!

Ruby Anne's Down Home Trailer Park Cookbook: Tongue-in-cheek, I presume, but oddly enough some of it sounds good in a "I'm not even trying to eat healthy today" way. (Chili con queso tastes better with "government cheese" and there's a recipe for Jell-O salad featuring Dr. Pepper.)

The Testicles Cookbook: Cooking with Balls. (NSFW, NSFM) Pretty self-explanatory. Available as a free e-book. Try Testicle Pizza, Testicle Goulash and White Wine Testicles. Or don't.

Cooking with Fernet Branca: From the review I've read, this appears to be a joke cookbook. I hope so--all the recipes use the infamously bitter aperitif in the title and include delights like garlic ice cream, mussels in chocolate and smoked cat.

Special Effects Cookbook: Erupting volcano cakes! Glow in the dark gelatin! A beating heart cake for Valentine's Day (or an Edgar Allan Poe-themed dinner party)! Sure, why not?

Eat a Bug Cookbook: For the truly daring. Who doesn't want Ant Jemima's Buckwheat Griddlecakes for breakfast? Or Curried Termite Stew? I'm aware some insect dishes are considered delicacies in various countries, but...eurgh. It's temporarily out of stock. That's worrisome.

Gross-Out Cakes: Includes the famous/infamous kitty litter cake, which Nigella Lawson once prepared on "The Graham Norton Show," and the Open Wound and Blood Clot cakes (fun for hospital parties?). The book's meant for Halloween shenanigans.

The Fear Factor Cookbook: Appearances aren't everything--all the recipes here just look gross but aren't like the real thing from the show. Where did that show go, anyway?

DEFINITELY NSFW AND NSFM: Cooking with...sperm. Yeah. No comment. My stomach feels funny...I'm done.

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