Thursday, July 29, 2010
Food media ‘Top Chef’ D. C., Episode 7: PEAS AT ANY PRICE
Posted by Joel Silverman on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 8:27 AM
A note to readers: this week’s entry was written by Adam Silverman, brother of your regular correspondent and general lurker-behind-the-scenes.
With hunky guest U. S. Representative Aaron Schock (R-IL), Top Chef D.C. contestants rise to political action by exploring the culinary side of lobbying, the "power lunch" and... pea puree sabotage.
Guest judge for this week’s Quickfire challenge was U. S. Representative Aaron Schock: the youngest member of the House and according to The Huffington Post its “Hottest Freshman.” A healthy glow and ripped bod reflect his recent arrival in Congress, his having never experienced the lavish and fattening power lunches that lobbyists formerly used to grease lawmakers, now forbidden by 2007’s “toothpick rule” that limits culinary bribery to food that can be eaten while standing up.
Our chefs were challenged to make a one-bite-meal persuasive enough to sway our Nation’s most powerful. Many of these little morsels seemed to be among the best dishes of the season. Kenny, who married tandoori salmon with a mojito (missing the obvious gambit of flavoring his toothpick mint), solved history’s greatest cocktail party challenge: how to juggle a little plate and your drink at the same time. Indeed, the losers of the challenge all sank for making a single item rather than a balanced-meal-on-a-stick (Andrea’s chicken n’ waffles and Tiffany’s crispy pork roulade with prosciutto, dates and red pepper coulis stood out to me if not to the Congressman) as the rules implied.
Affable and ever-political Schock loved it all, and he stopped on his tour to flirt a bit with Amanda (Hey Amanda… he’s single! Hey Aaron… she’s a drugged-out psychopath!). Angelo Sosa, resourceful as ever, triumphed after an initial setback. Once he failed to get his shrimp-rolled-up-in-pineapple to stay on the damn toothpick (frankly, it looked pretty bland anyway), he MacGyvered a cucumber into a cup and filled it with spiced shrimp, cashews and what must have been a lot of great flavor components. Schock called it “fireworks in his mouth,” innuendo that could only enhance his status as a boy-toy gay icon despite his vote against the repeal of Don’t-Ask-Don’t-Tell.
For the Elimination Challenge, the chefs were ordered to make a Power Lunch with staple steakhouse entree fare. While everyone else set to work prepping their butchered ingredients (swordfish, salmon, lamb and porterhouse steaks), poor Ed and Angelo were trapped in a scene from “Godzilla vs. Annie Hall,” with live four-to-eight pound lobsters (these are a signature of The Palm) crawling around the kitchen.
This episode, luckily for the chefs, had no major surprise that handicaps contestants, like last week’s mid-Quickfire ingredient switcheroo. What it did have was the most dastardly act of Washington sabotage since Watergate, as Ed’s pea puree mysteriously disappeared between the prep kitchen and D.C.’s power-brokering mecca: The Palm restaurant. Later, a pea puree appeared underneath Alex’s salmon, elevating that dish to blue-ribbon status. Did Alex steal Ed’s ingredient? We may never know, but I worry that the horrific climax to this season will involve Tiffany’s fiance, slathered in pea puree, beating Ed to a pulp for putting the moves on his woman.
For the first time, Kelly found herself on the wrong end of Judge’s Table, and she had a major melt-down. After refusing to share her salt with Amanda (“I only have enough for myself,” Kelly lied) she Shake-and-Baked her steak with it, rendering it practically inedible. Kevin, after braising his lamb to perfection in an immersion-circulator, seared the hell out of it and turned it into a doorstop. In the end, it was poor Andrea who was sent home after mistaking her swordfish for a batch of Toll House cookies and perfuming it with vanilla.
In the end, Alex reigned triumphant with his perfectly-cooked Saumon avec Petit Pois d’Ed, claiming “It’s got to be your own food on the plate,” implying that one must be true to their roots if not their actual cooking.
Next week on Top Chef D.C.: We learn that our contestants have never heard of exotic food like they eat in Brazil and... France?
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