Thursday, September 2, 2010
Food media 'Top Chef' D.C, Episode 11: Space... The Delicious Frontier
Posted by Joel Silverman on Thu, Sep 2, 2010 at 1:30 AM
Tonight’s Top Chef: D.C. was the last Washington-based episode before the semifinals abroad, so the chefs cooked for the one remaining Washington agency that the show hadn't exploited yet: NASA. (Does NASA even still exist? I thought NASA was historical, like the War Department or the Civilian Conservation Corps.)
Now, I’ve never been to outer space, but I’ve watched enough movies to know three iron-clad facts:
1. Space food is all freeze-dried and tastes like crunchy ice cream. You can’t use things that will float away in zero gravity like capers or drippy sauces.
2. Soylent Green is people.
3. Eat the blue pill, and you’ll wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe, but swallow the red pill, and Morpheus will show you just how deep this rabbit hole goes.
Astronauts don’t care about gourmet food — after months in orbit, they’re dreaming about cold beer, a little privacy, and finally getting a copy of Newsweek that’s not 9 months old (Oh my God — there was an earthquake in Haiti?) And with the decommissioning of the U.S. Space Shuttle program, they’ll have to use a Soyuz rocket to get this food up there. Maybe Angelo’s Russian fiance can push the ignition button.
At Goddard Space Center, Tom Colicchio, awed by guest judge Buzz Aldrin, asks a question that must have humiliated him the second it escaped his lips: “So how was that feeling, um, stepping out?” Really though, what else is there to say when you meet Buzz Aldrin? “Hey Buzz — gone any place neat lately?” Another guest is Anthony Bourdain, who is out of his league considering space is the one place he hasn’t visited on No Reservations.
Kelly roasts a halibut with artichoke “barigoule”, which even Wikipedia has never heard of, but apparently that’s the way they make artichokes in space. Ed marinates a rack of lamb in yogurt and cooks with Moroccan spices, I assume because Morocco is where they filmed the first ‘Star Wars’. Kevin makes a very simple steak with onion rings, to remind astronauts of home. Angelo lacquers short ribs with ginger glaze (“lacquering” is Angelo’s default move, like sous-vide was for Richard Blais, or free-basing coke for Amanda Baumgarden.) Tiffany makes a coconut curry with halibut. In a bit of foreshadowing, she also planned to include mussels, but can’t because they’re dead. As are her chances to be Top Chef, because her dish was the least inspired of five good plates. Tiffany was charming and funny, and it was sad to see Padma give her the boot, especially after Tiffany retells the story about working at IHOP as a teenager, and being told that women could only work as waitresses (all IHOP chefs are boysenberries... get it? You know, like the syrup. Ah, never mind.)
Angelo’s short ribs are declared “out of this world”, although Padma then commits the one unforgivable sin of reality television: She forgets to plug the sponsor, and later clumsily overdubs “Congratulations Angelo, enjoy your new 2010 Toyota Avalon!” Upon Angelo’s win he shouts out a praise to Jesus. Kevin, spared from the axe, does the same. Now, I’m not a theologian, but I have a feeling that Our Lord and Savior has more important things to worry about than who wins a reality TV cooking competition.
The remaining four head to Singapore, where they’d better watch out. If Americans tourists can get whipped with a cane for chewing gum, imagine what they do when you over-salt your entree.
Comments (3)
Showing 1-3 of 3
"Astronauts don’t care about gourmet food — after months in orbit, they’re dreaming about cold beer, a little privacy, and finally getting a copy of Newsweek that’s not 9 months old (Oh my God — there was an earthquake in Haiti?) And with the decommissioning of the U.S. Space Shuttle program, they’ll have to use a Soyuz rocket to get this food up there. Maybe Angelo’s Russian fiance can push the ignition button."
So much wrong in such a short paragraph...
1/ Like Nuclear Submarines, food is a higly important morale booster check out the pictures when a delivery of fress fruit an veg arrives...
2/ In space the low pressure degrades both taste and smell receptors. Space food is therefore made more flavoursome.
3/ International Cuisine: Visiting Astros bring delicacies from their own country to share with others.
4/ There is more space in the ISS than a semi detatched. Privacy is no problem.
5/ In addition to Progress and Souz thre are the ATV and HTV (flying) and Dragon and Cygnus. (Still in test phase.)
Stick to the cookery!
like
dislike
Here's a good post about the realities of cooking and eating on the International Space Station, microgravity and all. Each new member brings food to share with the others that represents their native country and culture.
http://gigabiting.com/?p=1863/
That diagram of how people get caned in Singapore is enough to give you nightmares. The police officer doesn't look human and that's kind of scary.
"all IHOP chefs are boysenberries... get it? You know, like the syrup. Ah, never mind." (Rimshot) So funny! When this admittedly awful season is over, I will be sad only because these posts will be done.
Latest in Omnivore
-
Charry but not so snappy 1
Lunch at Ringside Franks & Shakes
-
Is Paula Deen a monster in a morality play? 3
Paula Deen and fat-phobia
-
Sean Hannity digs McDonald's. Others don't.
How often should you eat at McDonald's? How angry can you get?
- More »
