Omnivore - Service issue #76858: ‘Are you still working on that?’

A reader writes for advice about servers who are in his opinion too enthusiastic in clearing tables:

I am struggling a bit, trying to determine how to handle a bothersome situation that I experience so often in Atlanta restaraunts.

Last night at Empire State South, about 20 minutes into a lovely dinner, a server- not the one we had seen up to that point- reaches over our table to remove the plate of the one person in four who had finished their meal. I requested that plates not be removed until everyone had finished eating. Waitron gave me a frumpy look and walked away. Five minutes later a third server approached our table to ask, “Are you still working on that?” pointing to the half a steak still on my plate. I told him I was not “working”; I was eating...;. and that I was still eating. Another angry look and he departed. Eventually we finished our meal without further incident.

Am I being unreasonable to expect that plates not be removed from table until everyone is done eating? If so, what should I do about it when a server attempts to clean the table in the midst of our meal? Generally, I just request them to wait until we are done eating. But I do not think I am getting their attention, because i have to say so at just about every meal. Last night I did something I never do: I tipped only 10% instead of my habitual 20%. The only result was a mad waitron who wouldn’t come back to our table for water, etc. while we wrapped up desert.

I write to you because I honestly do not know if I am being unreasonable or not. Does anyone else feel as I do, or am I taking issue with no reasonable grounds to do so?

I am actually the opposite. I want my plate gone ASAP after I finish. However, there’s little as annoying as being asked “Are you still working on that?” the moment you put down your fork. But it’s not fair for me to want my plate instantly cleared and also object to being asked if I’m done eating. So I guess the classic etiquette — leaving plates on the table until everyone is done — is the most sensible. Others may feel differently.