Friday, September 30, 2011

Prayer of the week

Posted By on Fri, Sep 30, 2011 at 12:00 AM

What would Jesus do?
  • What would Jesus really do?
Dear Jesus:

Wayne and I dined tonight, as we often do on Thursdays, at Spoon in East Atlanta. The restaurant has added some new dishes. One features two giant prawns and the other is radna, the popular Thai street food of wide rice noodles in a slightly sweet-sour soy gravy, topped at Spoon with crab and shrimp, plus some veggies.

We didn't order either because we were reluctant to pay their cost of just under $30. I stuck to my usual Masaman curry with seafood, and Wayne ordered his favorite of seared ahi tuna.

Thank you, Jesus for the good food at Spoon. And thanks, too, for the heavenly ice cream across the parking lot at Morelli's. I was overjoyed tonight to see that, after a long absence, the ginger-lavender was back, which I planned to combine with the blueberry-rose water.

But, Jesus, my joy was short-lived. Tonight, I was filled with murderous rage while an asshole stood at the window in front of me for (literally) 10 minutes, sampling this and that, laughing hysterically with his companion, then shouting, "Hell, we can just sample the stuff until we're full!" Ultimately, throwing the last sample spoon onto the counter with theatrical flair, he announced his decision: a fucking brownie with some slightly weird chocolate ice cream. All this time for that?

Jesus, I could ask you to grant me more patience or to make it easier for me to walk directly to my car from Spoon without taking a detour to Morelli's.

But I would prefer that you strike this asshole and all members of his tribe dead. Then put them in that corner of hell once reserved only for Tantalus. Let them reach for a sample of ice cream but never get their hands on it for eternity.

Amen. Thank you so much, Jesus.

(EDIT: Yikes, I swear I had no idea Brad Kaplan's Cheap Eats column this week was about Morelli's when I wrote this. I think it's a divinely-inspired coincidence.)

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