Friday, December 23, 2011

Paula clucks all the way to the bank

Posted By on Fri, Dec 23, 2011 at 12:06 AM

Paula_chicken.jpg

I'm use to encountering occasional horrors on plates in restaurants. But, now that I'm cooking most of my meals at home, a visit to the grocery store is sometimes like stumbling through a nightmare. For example, I ran into Paula Deen in the meat case at Kroger today. I knew she planned to be there. I'd just never run into her before.

I have to admit she looks smashing on the plastic wrap that encases Springer Mountain Farms chickens. Perhaps her endorsement of the humanely raised (and delicious) chickens will help us forgive the shit storm that arose when she started peddling Smithfield Hams a few years back. (Remember her karmic payback?)

She also hustles pies at evil Walmart and over-feeds you at casino restaurants.

I need a new mattress but have yet to check out Paula's "soy-infused poly-foam" Serta. Actually, I'm considering thematizing my entire life with the mind-boggling number of things to which Paula has attached her name. (Check out my favorite antidote to the Food Network for a list of craptastic stuff Paula shills.)

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