Thursday, January 5, 2012
Food & Life Restaurant attire: Step it up, people, and dress to the occasion
Posted by Scott Henry @ScottTheHenry on Thu, Jan 5, 2012 at 9:41 AM
- Besha Rodell
- Scott Henry dresses like this on Wednesdays.
Namely: Who imagines that it's appropriate to wear an anorak windbreaker to such a posh restaurant? The guy at the table next to us, apparently. And, scanning the well-appointed room, I was taken aback by the number of open collars, golf shirts, and untucked shirttails.
What have we come to, 21st century American guys, that we (actually, you) no longer dress up for special occasions amid fancy surroundings? I realize this isn't the '50s, when men wore ties to mow the lawn, but c'mon — what became of dressing for dinner? One needn't be Jack Donaghy to be dismayed by the spread of the "casual dining" trend into more upscale establishments.
This isn't a matter of class warfare. I'll wager there were no paupers enjoying veal chop-Oscar or lobster fritters at KRS the other night. Just a bunch of rich guys (or petite bourgeoisie) who didn't feel like making the effort to put on a goddamn blazer.
In contrast, I may have overdone things by wearing a black velvet dinner jacket with a pocket square and, of course, a tie. To keep things real, I wore a pair of dark indigo dungarees in a crisp selvage denim with rolled-up cuffs and a pair of black loafers. I thought the look worked. And I'd like to believe that at least part of the reason my wife and I were escorted past several two-person tables and seated at a six-person banquette with a commanding view of the dining room was as reward for having gussied up. It sure as hell wasn't because we were expected to order a bottle of Krug Grande Cuvée.
Frankly, I'd be interested to hear other opinions. When you go out for a nice dinner at an upscale restaurant, would you prefer to see your fellow patrons attired appropriately? Or are you one of those who wants to be able to order surf-and-turf dressed like you just walked off a construction site?
Comments (45)
Showing 1-45 of 45
I'm glad you brought this up. This is something that drives me nuts and I've pretty much sworn off the high-echelon (price wise, anyway) restaurants for special occasions.
Nothing puts a damper on an anniversary dinner like dressing up in your best with the wife and paying an incredible price for a wine-paired meal at Bacchanalia while sitting between tables of people who look like they randomly chose to drop in after jogging (true event in my life).
I'm not saying that the dining experience is ruined by this, but it definitely makes me not want to spend the money on a special occasion when I can't be assured that the setting is going to be nice.
Come on rich people of Atlanta -- have a heart. Middle class slobs like me want to have a nice dinner now and again. I know it's just a normal weekend out for you when you're dropping $300 for dinner in your track suit. But some of us are spending a huge chunk of our income here. Show some respect.
Now I shall dismount my high horse.
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Maybe some of us that can't spend our hard earned sheckles on something as unpractical as a nice new button down shirt, new pair of slacks or a snazzy sport jacket would like to break our tight budget and get a nice meal once in a while...
Maybe you should focus on the food, service and restaurant's vibe & decor and quit telling us how to dress.
Unless the establishment has a dress code, it is not your place to judge.
If your enjoyment of a night out is based on what people around you are wearing, I would not enjoy going out with you.
Everything is relative--"posh restaurant," "upscale restaurant," "attired appropriately." As nice as Rathbun Steak is, I mean come on, it is a steakhouse--a "Prime Steakhouse" but a steakhouse nonetheless.
Your article suggests that the other diners should have viewed a night at Rathbun's Prime Steakhouse with the same grandeur as you. I know people who would deem it necessary to be "attired appropriately" for a night at Red Lobster (to them, a "posh restaurant"); personally, I would not put much thought into what I wore to Red Lobster. I'm not knocking those who break out Sunday's best for Red Lobster, but I think it's emblematic of my lead: Everything is relative.
I think your attire should be dictated by the purpose of your night, not the places you choose to go. Those places are there only to facilitate the time you wish to have. If you feel like getting all dolled up to go to Red Lobster, do it! If you want to throw on shorts and a golf shirt to grab a great steak and beer, do it! It's your night out; you enjoy it as you see fit. That said, your fellow diners are not there to facilitate your night out--they have their own purposes for being out, which may not be as eventful or glamorous as yours. That your fellow diners chose not to wear a jacket has absolutely nothing to do with you, just as you deciding that your night called for a blazer has absolutely nothing to do with the other diners. You're at a restaurant. Focus on what's important: the food, booze, and dining companion(s). While we're on the topic, how was your food?
So, while I agree with your title, "Step it up, people, and dress to the occasion," I cannot agree with your suggestion that simply because you believe New Years Eve at Rathbun Steak to be an "occasion," your fellow diners should believe the same. To some people it was just another night out.
--dine on
HDIII
Have you ever seen what Kevin Rathbun wears around the restaurant? He's not in a Maitre D outfit I can assure you.
A Parisian would find you looked like a slob on NYE. Just something to keep in mind.
Also the relaxed atmosphere engendered by high end restaurants has been the greatest changes to the restaurant industry in the last 10-20 years. Making great food accessible to all, means not everyone is going to be dressed like you.
I personally dress to impress my date - not other diners.
I just read a blog post elsewhere by a guy who said he was wearing his usual anorak at Rathbun Steak, where he dines two or three nights a week, when in struts this dandy wearing "a black velvet dinner jacket with a pocket square ..., a pair of dark indigo dungarees in a crisp selvage denim with rolled-up cuffs and a pair of black loafers."
Henry's starting to sound like Cliff Bostock, grumpy and annoyed. I like it.
What a goddamned priss.
The definition of bad manners is to comment on others' manners.
Perhaps you would not enjoy going out with me, Ant, although you would miss out on some great thrift-shopping tips. But I submit that the composition, behavior and appearance of a restaurant's clientele can have nearly as much of an impact on the dining experience as the look of the room itself. Does the place have a lively buzz to it? Is the average age under 30 or over 65? Are there a lot of couples with young children? Is the crowd redneck-y, hipsteriffic or kitted out like Kardasian-style star-fucker wannabes?
Maybe you're not tuned into people's clothes. That's fine. But I guarantee your enjoyment of a restaurant is directly affected by your fellow patrons. Imagine walking into a place wearing jeans and finding everyone else is in tuxedos and evening gowns. Think that wouldn't affect your state of mind? I'd also bet that, no matter how tantalizing the menu or lovely the decor, you wouldn't want to eat in an empty restaurant. Dining out is a social experience and the people at the other tables are an inextricable part of that.
And, SB, this is America, where everyone is free to judge.
Hmmmm.... so let's see here, if I choose to dine at a restaurant in Atlanta now, I need to check to see if what I'm wearing is up to certain standards?
Screw you! Unless a restaurant posts an explicit dress code (i.e. Gentlemen must wear jackets), I'll wear what I feel comfortable in. I have dined at several Michelin 1,2 and 3 star restaurants around the globe and unless dress code is stated, you can come as you are.
Recently for Christmas Day dinner I dined at the Central Park Boathouse, an upscale, yet relaxed dining establishment. You can sit at the bar in shorts and t-shirt after a morning jog in the park or come dressed to the nines. There is no posted dress code. Of course I was in jeans and sweater just walking in the park for the morning. The boathouse was booked out completely for the holidays, but thanks to a little bit of resourcefullness I secured a table in the main dining room overlooking the lake. Sure there were other diners who were well dressed, but look here MONEY is MONEY. I've dined at places in NYC and LA where I was dressed well only to see a celebrity walk in, in a t-shirt and sweatpants. Did it bother me, NO.
People who get dressed up to try and impress others are only fooling themselves. These are the same people who wear flashy watches trying to impress people into thinking "wow they must be famous", fuck that. You'd be shocked to know the number of millionaires who drive beat up cars and dress casual as can be around town, but travel to exotic destinations all the time because they really can afford to do so.
So, if you want to play dress up when going out to dinner with your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend, then do so if it makes you feel better about yourself. Just make sure that you pronouce the food and wine you want correctly. There is nothing worse than overhearing the table next to you mispronounce Steak Au-Poivre or Duck Confit and Cassoulet.
No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service..... hey even Waffle House has its standards.
Gee, DDD, I'm bellyaching because people don't dress up anymore for fancy meals. Your beef is with people who don't know how to pronounce the names of the fancy food they order. If you can explain the qualitative distinction between those two complaints, you're a better man than I.
When somebody dies, I dress all pretty at their funeral as a sign of respect. I'm be damned if I'm going to dress up to eat a medium rare dead cow.
If your enjoyment of your foie gras is dependent on what the guy on the other side of the restaurant is wearing, you got issues.
I know of a counselor with PhD in depth psychology who's looking for work. I will have my admin assistant write you up a referral. If you don't get him from him, please get help somewhere.
Well, damn -- It looks like Scott has stumbled upon a restaurant-related issue as thorny as the "kids' behavior-or-mere-presence in restaurants" one. I didn't know it was possible!
It looks like I'm on the minority end of the spectrum of opinion here, but I'll still maintain that, for a "nice dinner at an upscale restaurant," it's polite to other diners to dress in a way other than slobby-casual.
But then I also carry a handkerchief with me, send thank-you notes for gifts and refrain from talking about religion, politics or sex in polite company. So I may have just been born late.
Darin, you may have a point, but I'd have trouble losing much sleep over it. I also don't like if I send somebody a nice gift or give them $100 for their wedding present and I get no thank you.
I just wouldn't write an article about it.
When I eat out, I prefer to pay attention to the people or person at my own table. Generally they are interesting enough to prevent me from obsessing on other tables.
I fault the restaurants for allowing the slobs to be seated.
Dress for dinner, people. Dress for the theater, or the ballet, or the symphony (y'all probly never heard a them). Wear your workout crap to your local microwave Mexican joint or the Varsity or the Braves game. It just makes for a nicer experience overall, and do NOT tell me you can't afford a decent shirt, but you can afford a steak at Rathbun's. IMHO.
"...a pair of dark indigo dungarees in a crisp selvage denim with rolled-up cuffs." Oh my, were you wearing fancy blue jeans in a fancy eating establishment? I'm much older than you are; but, when I was a child, I wasn't allowed to own or wear such attire, even with the fancier upper body stuff you've got. I've got a few suits and a tuxedo and try not to wear them. I do find it funny that I'd walk in to KRS without a jacket but never think of wearing blue jeans. If we meet at a fancy place, try not to think poorly of me for not meeting your sartorial standards. I won't pay much, if any, attention to you - in my mid-years I ate in the same building at the Monroe Denny's with drag queens in silver and blue sequined floor length dresses (!) at five in the morning - talk about being over-dressed.
I'm with Scott on this one. Recently I was at the Taco Mac at the Prado for lunch. Granted this is a very casual and family friendly restaurant, but it was lunch on a week day and this location attracts a lot of professionals who work nearby. On this particular day I was such a professional and dressed accordingly.
As I waited for the rest of my party, I noticed a woman in dirty sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and SLIPPERS. If you can't be bothered to put on actual clean clothes with real shoes to leave your house, you are better off warming up the ramen noodles.
Wow, the slobs are taking over the blogs! If it's a "nice" restaurant, look nice. If it's a mediocre restaurant, look mediocre. If the place is a dive, well...you get the point. Scott may have dandy-fied his attire for an expensive steak dinner, but he has a point. If you can afford a $50 steak, look like you can afford a $50 steak. That's all he's saying.
I'm with Scott. I don't dress to impress, but I certainly remember getting dressed up for some of my finest meals in NYC, and it definitely added to experience with my wife.
I read recently that there are no longer any restos in NYC that require a tie, and less than ten which require a jacket.
Careful Scott - with all this huffing you might fog up your monocle.
No sweats, but what's wrong with a pullover polo at Rathbun's or Bacchanalia? Shorts in the summer - great! A coat and tie is stiff, hot, and uncomfortable. Why bother to go out to eat if you have to be uncomfortable. I think all the pretentious preeners are so silly and vain. Bet they all have leased Mercedes and lots of credit card debt. They spend their lives obsessing over what other people think of them. Insecurities showing - masked by finery. The Emperor's new clothes?
Please FSM, tell me the host at Bacchanalia would turn you away should you show up wearing a polo and shorts, regardless of the weather. Let there be some semblance of decency left in this town.
If you go to a nice restaurant dressed like someone just off a photoshoot at PeopleOfWalmart, it says more about your complete lack of manners than of anything else. Pearls before swine, and all that.
Dapper Dresser Dan---- Of all places to dine in NYC for Christmas dinner you chose this place? Hahahahahaha. Dont tell me, you stayed in Times Square, had your picture taken at Strawberry Fields, and went to the top of the Empire State Building the next day......
@Jimmy, I have gotten dressed up to go out with my wife too. That’s because my wife looks at me. You know the guy at the same table.
I am interesting enough to her that she need not to look at somebody at the other table. If I were a bore, my experience would be dependant on people at other tables and I’d care if they looked pretty.
Hey rich guy who writes for a struggling low paying weekly just for kicks. Have you ever worked a restaurant job? Do you know what restaurant employees call New Year’s Eve? It’s called, “amateur night.”
Those of us who act sophisticated rather than think we dress like it, don’t go out on amateur night. We leave New Year’s Eve to the amateurs. What night did you say this occurred?
I think this thread shows we all have our own sense of style here, but in general I would agree with both FuziOh and hdanielsiii.
It is the establishment that should set the tone for the required attire. What is the dress policy for patrons (if they have one), and just as importantly, what is the staff wearing?
If you are at Nikolai's Roof, where the staff is in tuxes, one should expect a dress code. But at KRS, where the staff is in jeans, I see no issue with a nice pair of jeans and an open collared shirt for me.
Again it is all relative.
I do agree with the general premise that in our society people have pretty much abandon all forms of 'appropriate attire' (I am waiting on someone to board a plane wearing only a diaper pretty soon.), and at a place like Bacchanalia you shouldn't have to be seated to someone in sweats.
But at the end of the day this is the fault of KRS. If your enjoyment was compromised by the informality of others, then it's a restaurant issue. Now my guess is that 90% of KRS patrons probably don't feel the same way that you do, and if Rathbun were to enforce a dress code he may feel it in the pocketbook. In this case, it's really a business/marketing decision.
Whilst I do absolutely agree with what Scott is saying I think the bigger crime is those that think dressing up means yellow chino's and a Ralph Lauren long sleeve shirt (sleeves rolled up naturally and 2 sizes too big....always).
Interesting topic. Personally, I'm there for the food and I'd rather dress down somewhat but not to the level of sweatpants and flip flops. I think that, in general, the death of dress codes is a good thing as clothing as a signifier of status is slowly on its way out in the culture.
I guess people have many expectations from a night out and indulging in some sort of romantic fantasy is perfectly valid. I'm just not sure that what others are wearing is an important point. If you would prefer to be around folks in a dinner jacket, join a country club.
"I think the bigger crime is those that think dressing up means yellow chino's and a Ralph Lauren long sleeve shirt (sleeves rolled up naturally and 2 sizes too big....always)"
Well I think of them as Khaki not yellow but dang that does almost sum up my fashion sense. So yea I try to stay away from nice places cause I don't pay attention to clothing.
I have no idea what Selvage is, not sure what color exactly indigo is but assume its very dark blue, and have no idea why someone would name a windbreaker line after a poisonous gas!
But I agree atmosphere is created by what people wear, and there's something to be said of the white linen experience. I admit to being a part of the decline and apologize. I can't remember the last time I wore my "blue blazer" though I do have one in the closet and it looks kinda nice. At least I know to try to stick to the more casual places because I still don't want to look like a comparative slob.
Something I noticed about Atlanta guys after moving here: if it doesn't come in wrinkled khaki or polo, forget about it. Gross.
We're slowing losing our dignity as a society. It wouldn't kill anyone to throw on a jacket, at least. What bothers me is how men nowadays not only wear hats indoors, but wear them while eating in restaurants.
Also wearing a Georgia Bulldogs branded long sleeve shirt does not count as 'dressing up'.
Scott, while I generally agree with the sentiment you're expressing, I disagree with your decision to pass off a rant on people's restaurant attire as suitable Creative Loafing content.
Scott: Thank you! Thank you!! THANK YOU!!! I am so glad I’m not the only person in this city that’s noticed this. It’s to the point that a well-dressed man is seen as gay now. The thrift store “hipster”/Seth Rogen/American Slob movement needs to be eliminated at once.
I grew up with older men in my family for whom dressing well in public was second nature. I like to think I have a pretty good sense of style and I try to dress to suit the place I’m going, but men-and far too many women-just do not care anymore. The average American man dresses like shit at all times and is proud of it. It’s not just in restaurants. I have a pretty active social life and I can’t tell you how many supposedly upscale places I’ve been invited to where half the guys there are in a white-t or a sports jersey. I wonder why places take the trouble to list a dress code if they’re not going to enforce it? You are totally right that the look of a space and the people in it contribute to your overall feeling while you’re there. If most people are looking good and comfortable, it will influence you to feel the same.
You don’t have to be in a suit to be well-dressed; just a little effort can upgrade a casual outfit. Nice shoes and a dress shirt can do wonders for a pair of old jeans. And anyone who uses the argument that appearance doesn’t matter is fooling themself. Of course it does!
I agree with Scott - dining out should be a sophisticated outing, especially when you are going out to a place such as KRS....I mean come on, a windbreaker?!?
I am always a fan of overdressing when you are unsure of the attire. Honestly, I don't know how you can go out to a nice restaurant dressed down and think that it's ok.
I know that people are lazy sometimes and just want to go out for a nice meal and not put forth the effort to look nice, but there's something to be said for people who take time to dress accordingly when dining out. It's a respect issue.
Let’s be honest. Very few people lack the money to acquire some decent clothes. Even if they do, they could afford them by reducing the amount they spend on drugs, booze or women, etc. This “I am paying my money so I will do my ‘own thing’ and don’t give a damn what others think” attitude is both disrespectful of others and immature. Most people intentionally dress like slobs, even to nice places, because it is “in” and fashionable to do so and these people want to dress just like most everyone else. These people think of themselves as “rebels,” but they are not really doing their “own thing.” They are doing what hundreds of millions of others do and are, in fact, the ultimate conformists. Want to dress like a real “rebel” nowadays? Wear a tie.
Kenneth Pollock is correct: one's comfort can look a lot like another's conformity. Public dining is everyone's theater, so appearances do matter. Something precious was lost the moment dressing well became equated with snobbery, harumph!
@Nom Nom Nom,
That should be "Hear, hear," as if you were in
Parliament, not one of a group of puppies
begging for attention. :)
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