Thursday, January 5, 2012
Food media 'Top Chef' season 9, episode 9: What what in the butt
Posted by Debbie Michaud @DebsMichaud on Thu, Jan 5, 2012 at 4:14 PM
Hey guys, remember this from last night?
That's right, I'm talking bout all the "modernist" butts decorating Chris. C.'s bedroom. During the Quickfire challenge guest starring Nathan Myhrvold and his book Modernist Cuisine: The Art and Science of Cooking all the contestants talk about how mod-AIR-n they are in life (or not, Grayson). Chris C. points out how modernly his apartment is decorated, specifically referring to the nude paintings that he, and I quote, "likes to do."
Cut to Chris C.'s, aka Malibu's, audition tape wherein we glimpse said modernist paintings and listen as CC describes his artistic motivations, namely that he paints tits and butts so people won't think he's gay. HEY PEOPLE, IT'S HARD BEING THIS GOOD LOOKING. So hard, he's gotta paint butts.
Chris is a real douche bag it turns out, and it makes for the best kind of uncomfortable TV watching, which is too bad considering...
He got cut last night. And then lost again in the LCK to Nyesha. I bet Grayson's sad. I think she probably wanted to touch butts with him. But Grayson, someone who's SO HOT PEOPLE THINK HE'S GAY ain't gonna butt bump this:
Chris J. was geeking out so hard about Myhrvold he practically splooged all over the modernist BBQ champion, and Bev actually did, her mechanism prematurely foaming all over Padma's skirt and Nathan's leg coverers (it's what they call pants in the future). Sarah almost died from heat exhaustion and that pissed Ed off so much he had to bang around the hotel pans and ruin his brisket. In the end, the judges hated most of the barbecue, except the blue team's, which won.
Next week: Restaurant Wars! Boys v. Girls!
Question: Did Pee-wee Herman already guest star? Did that cameo escape me somehow?
SCORE:
OUT: Sorry NomNomNom, maybe Chris C. will send you a butt painting as consolation.
IN:
FuziOH: Paul, Edward, and Grayson
JMF: Lindsay, Paul and Chris J
totm: Edward, Grayson, and Chris J
themamrtyparty: Lindsay, Paul, Ty-lor
Comments (6)
Showing 1-6 of 6
Is it too late to throw in my prediction? Because I think it will be Paul, Chris J., and Ty-lor.
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I kept expecting Myhrvold to break out into a "BWAHAHAHA" at any moment. Maybe if Chris J. had actually sploojed on him.
Glad to see Paul and Grayson score another win. I really want to go to Austin to Paul's restaurant there. Road trip!
This recap really had me laughing my ass off. Honestly: thank you. (And I better win.) I realize they're in Texas and all, but barbecue? Really? That's like predicating the top chef winner on perfect sushi. These are such specific specializations that they really don't belong in this type competition. I am sick of the "crickets and marshmallows" competitions; I miss where they just give people free rein to do what they do best.
@themartparty: of course the winning team didn't actually do Texas barbecue. I thought the teams going traditional were being stupid and I was right. It was still shocking that all of the traditional barbecue sucked though.
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