I don't have enough to say about last night's episode becau-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. So I'm getting it all out here before the jump.
Last night was restaurant wars and the gang got split up into teams - boys vs. girls! A Top Chef First™. The boys name their restaurant Canteen. So Boy Scout-y. The girls name their restaurant Half Bushel [insert vagina joke here]. ’Bush (that's what the locals call the restaurant for short) leader Lindsay assumes front-of-the-house position and reveals that she was prom queen and then in true prom queen fashion turns out to be a total bitch underneath that sweet blonde exterior. Linz and Sarah, who's channeling Horrible Heather, commence berating Beverly and, more importantly, calling her Bev. You know what it means when people start saying Bev instead of Beverly. So Linz is all "Don't fuck up my fish!" and Sarah's all "RAWR!" and Grayson's all "Quit being such bitches," and then everyone's like GOD. Girls are such BITCHES. I hate girls.
Meanwhile there are about 100 people waiting to be seated in the Half Bushel. The judges are over it but love the food. Which is more than they can say for the boys' restaurant, — a much better dining room experience but inferior food. Drumroll please...Bev wins! And it comes with a 3-liter bottle of wine! Way better than $10,000 or a car like those other losers got. And Ty goes home, because his food doesn't have nearly as much pizazz as his mustache and Tom simply WILL NOT eat mustache for dinner. He would like some damn coconut, though. Ed?
Every week it gets harder to watch Judges Table. Tom's criticisms make me feel like my dad's yelling at me. I'm too old to have my dad yelling at me every Wednesday. I will say, it was a relief to finally see the chefs just cook what they want rather than rustlin' up a bunch of Tejas cliches for dinner. "themartyparty" knows what I'm talking about.
Ty faces off with Nyesha in LCK. And Nyesha HATES him. Who knew? Nyesha defeats Ty in a dessert challenge. Nicely done. I'm rooting for her still.
After the episode, Andy Cohen chatted with Top Chef fan Rosie Perez and Hugh Acheson and offered a video tribute to the "Hugh-nibrow":
As you see in the video, Hugh will wax that shit - or actually let Rosie wax it live - if he can raise $100,000 for the charity Wholesome Wave. Do you ever think that back when Hugh was watching White Men Can't Jump he ever thought about Rosie waxing his uni? Celebrity is weird.
OUT: Sorry themamrtyparty and brittj8585
FuziOH: Paul, Edward, and Grayson
JMF: Lindsay, Paul and Chris J
totm: Edward, Grayson, and Chris J
DRATL: Lindsey, Paul and Edward
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