Thursday, February 2, 2012

'Top Chef' season 9, episode 13

Posted By on Thu, Feb 2, 2012 at 3:58 PM

PAAAANNNNNCAAKKKKEESS!!!
Hey kids, Pee Wee Herman/Paul Reubens has a special surprise for you! It starts with a "P" and you put it in your mouth...that's right, PANCAKES. We FINALLY got to the Pee Wee episode this week and it was awesome. He was just awkward enough to make everyone visibly uncomfortable. I'm sure he also appreciated how Padma kept speaking to him like child/old person: slowly and loudly.

Everyone had to make pancakes for Pee Wee. Grayson tries to do something "whimsical," so she makes her pancake in the shape of Minnie Mouse? What is this Denny's? I'm surprised she didn't serve it with an 8-oz ribeye. In any case, it's the best pancake Pee Wee's ever had! This makes Grayson happy! Then Pee Wee tastes Sarah's and it's the best pancake he's ever had! And so is everyone's pancake! This makes me laugh so much and I Iove it because everyone relaxes and realizes it's just FUCKING PANCAKES. Edward wins for his crispy pancake bits, which was such a good idea and looked awesome and I want to eat it. Edward will be in Atlanta this weekend and so Ed I'm inviting you over to come cook me breakfast like you did for those B&B folks so nicely. Can't wait!

Pee Wee sticks around for the main challenge, a spinoff of Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Each of the chefs is given a pretty sweet red Schwinn with TWO baskets and a personalized license plate. They have $100 and they have to cruise around town shopping for food and then find a restaurant kitchen to crash to cook a family style lunch for P-dubs and the judges. Pee Wee tells the gang he likes chicken, and egg salad, and spicy food and not spicy food. Helpful, right? So everybody cooks chicken except for Lindsey who serves braised beef in squash boats. People go CRAZY for the veggie boats, especially Tom, who smiles for once and talks about his childhood growing up bald and smug and that's how he got into cooking. It was very touching. Lindsey's boats win and they send Grayson home because this is not, in fact, Denny's, and taking the skin off a chicken and then stuffing it with cheese and egg yolk doesn't make it healthier, just like putting sea salt on french fries doesn't make Wendy's fries any healthier. (It just makes them saltier, which is why I eat them.)

So no more sex in the mouth for Tom!

And the winner of LCK is Beverly! Just kidding. They made you watch five more minutes of TC only to NOT learn the winner of LCK as punishment for watching this show in the first place. Congratulations, we all lose. I do think Bev's gonna come out on top, though. I don't think Tom has room left for another one of Grayson's 40-pound Houlihan's stuffed chicken breasts.

SCORE
OUT:
JMF: Lindsay, Paul and Chris J
totm: Edward, Grayson, and Chris J

IN:
DRATL: Lindsey, Paul and Edward
mrmuffinman: Paul, Edward, Sarah
FuziOH: Paul, Edward, and Grayson

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