Who are you? may be a question best left for a future existential or mid-life crisis, but these are funny and entertaining today. Here are a few small snippets of Fagan's observations - they do not, however do the full essay justice:
Drink of choice: Vodka Red Bulls
Well, I mean, if these are your drink of choice, you're just an enormous bro.
Drink of choice: White Wine
Umm, you're a WASPy 45-year-old blonde woman wearing pearls, or you're aspiring to be one someday.
Drink of choice: Champagne
No matter in what form you're drinking your bubbles - bought in a magnum for your table at the club, or sipped while glaring at others as you languish by the bar - admit it, you're kind of bougie.
Drink of choice: Jagerbombs
That sh-t is gross beyond imagination, and you should feel bad about yourself.
Drink of choice: Candy-Colored Martini
Okay, I hate to play the gender game here, but let's be real - you're probably a girl...
Drink of choice: Microbrew
Getting drunk as quickly as possible is not (at least not yet) your priority - you've got savoring to do...
Drink of choice: Bloody Mary
You're drinking at 10 AM and it is everything you imagined it could be.
Drink of choice: Big-Name Domestic Beer
You're here to Git-R-Done...
Drink of choice: Old Fashioned
Someone clearly needs to put down the Mad Men for five minutes. Don't be that guy.
Boo! My family and I used to eat Sunday brunch there. I remember when it…
Omg, glad to find this thread. I was a waiter for 12 years and have…
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One doughnut from each shop is definitely a weird way to do this Smackdown. It…
"vegan goodness" -- oxymoron of the day.
Doughnuts are the new cupcakes are the new popcorn are the new popsicles.