Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Twin Peaked at Buckhead's new 'breastaurant'

Posted By on Tue, Jul 10, 2012 at 2:41 PM

Paul Bunyan, Betty Crocker, and Hugh Hefner all got together and....
  • Ed Adams
  • If Paul Bunyan, Betty Crocker, and Hugh Hefner all got together and decided to open a restaurant ...

Booooooooooobs! OK, now that that's out of the way, let's have a serious discussion about the hand-crafted pub fare CL's Online Producer Ed Adams and I sampled at the Twin Peaks Buckhead media preview.

OK, maybe not so much. We liked the food, don't get me wrong. But our favorite part about Twin Peaks was definitely the "scenic view." One plaid-clad babe named Alicia (pronounced uh-LEE-SEE-yah, NOT uh-lee-SHA) told us that Twin Peaks girls really make a difference. Temporarily blinded by the whiteness of her perfect teeth, and thoroughly intimidated by her perfectly bronzed abs, I ate another fried pickle dipped in ranch and asked her what sets Twin Peaks girls apart from the rest of 'em. "What sets us apart," Alicia tells me, "is that we, like, really care if you have a good time. Twin Peaks girls are fun, outgoing, and obviously sexy. And we won't hesitate to mess with you a little." For example, "If a guy orders a girly drink, I'll say something like, 'Do you want a little girl straw to go with your girl drink?' Stuff like that."

Twin Peaks action shot

What can I say? Girls just want to have fun, and make fun of you in the process. But just a little bit, though. I imagine it would be pretty hard to feel emasculated in this part-sports-bar-part-taxidermy-museum of a dude cave. But if you're really in need of an ego boost, you can always try ordering a draft beer at Twin Peaks. When opting for one of the house beers, you must first contemplate an age-old dilemma: a "Knotty Brunette" or a "Dirty Blonde"? And before you can start sucking down your Brunette (with malty notes of nuts and caramel), you have to make a critical choice that will certainly call your manhood into question: "girl-size" or "man-size"? A sissy girl size beer comes in a 10-ounce mug, but a big, strong man beer is 22 ounces. Twin Peaks advertises that they keep its beer at 29 degrees, and when paired with a frozen mug, you get a thin layer of beer slush at the top.

Boob slideshow after the jump for your viewing pleasure

Average Joes: Mini brats with spicy mustard and pico
  • Average Joes: Mini brats with spicy mustard and pico

If you came for the boob show, see below, otherwise, I guess I'll talk about the food now.

We were able to try most of the appetizers, and to no one's surprise every dish except for the blackened chicken quesadilla (which tastes like every other chicken quesadilla you've ever ordered at a bar) and the Average Joes (three mini jalapeño cheese brats with spicy Dijon mustard and pico de gallo) was fried. Mildly sour pickle chips (that are hand-cut in-house according to our bartender, Talon!) coated in an uber-thick batter and deep fried were our favorite. The batter lent so much texture, they were like a kettle-cooked version of fried pickles. To the delight of my bar-food-lovin' ass, mozzarella sticks were hearty and huge. At least six inches long ::wink wink::; and definitely not like those frozen TGI Friday's impostors you can find at Kroger.

All in all, if you venture out to Twin Peaks (and can make it past the Farmburger without aborting your mission to get high on delicious burger instead) what you will find is two stories worth of fun. Despite all the PYTs and miles of cleavage, Twin Peaks looks and feels classy inside. I imagine it would be a great place to watch a game — it's decked out with about a billion big flat-screens. But enough about me, what do you think? Does Twin Peaks belong in Buckhead?

Photos by Stephanie Dazey and Ed Adams

Tags: , , ,

Comments (17)

Showing 1-17 of 17

Add a comment

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-17 of 17

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

Latest in Omnivore

More by Stephanie Dazey

Eat what you grow
Eat what you grow

Search Events

Search Omnivore

Recent Comments

© 2015 Creative Loafing Atlanta
Powered by Foundation