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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The 25 Douchiest Bars in Atlanta

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  • Complex Magazine

In the latest installment of The 25 Douchiest Bars in... (New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Philadelphia, Washington D.C., and Boston each have their own chapter), Complex magazine gets down on the 25 Douchiest Bars in Atlanta.

Filed under the magazine's City Guide, a section dedicated to the strange experience of living in a major city, Complex contributor Larry L warns, "Douchebags drink all over the ATL, and their mere presence can ruin a night out." What constitutes a douchey bar, you ask? The varied list of offenses include everything from inconsiderate cokeheads and Dave Matthews cover bands to the prevalence of flip flops and cargo shorts. According to Larry L, these establishments (The Ivy, Hudson Grille, Neighbor's Pub, Halo, and RiRa to name a few) should be avoided at all costs.

Here are a few excerpts:

20. Smith's Olde Bar

Multiple stages allow promoters to book singer-songwriter acousticrap acts to their heart's content. A melting pot, Smith's invites overweight fratboys to coexist with Land Rover-driving, tie-dye-wearing, nug-jug stoners.

16. Ormsby's

Unfortunately, bros love drinking games too. Word-of-mouth traveled fast. Within a few weeks, Ormsby's was infected with an incurable case of douche, accompanied by the smell of spilled and souring booze. Keep calm and wrap the North Face jacket tightly around your head to keep out the stench.

10. Hole in the Wall

This dive has everything you could possibly want in a bar - if you're 15 and trashy.

7. The Dark Horse Tavern

Unwilling to admit college is over? You're not alone. Join the massive herd at Dark Horse, where you'll get through the door, but not to the bar.

1. East Andrews Cafe & Bar

The clientele consists of three types: 1) Old, rich skeez-bags desperately trying to get their balls touched; 2) younger skeez-bags aspiring to wealth; and 3) desperate and wild women looking to bang the richest dude possible.

I know what you're thinking: "Dude, that's way harsh. Who does this Larry L dude think he is, bro?" Before you bust out your torches and pitchforks, we reached out to Complex in search of a little insight. Here's what Larry L had to say about compiling the list:

I've spent my entire adult life in Atlanta, so I was very excited to write this article for Complex. Putting this list together was all about recalling every douchy experience I've had hanging out in Atlanta over the past 13 years, making a list (over 50 bars), then revisiting them all to confirm, deny, and rank my experiences all over again. To some, this sounds like horrible field research, but for me it was fun. I grabbed several of my friends who are new to the city and made them join me. Now they know what bars to avoid! I guess the next list needs to shout out some of the greatest things ATL has to offer. I have a lot to say in regard to that as well.

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