• wikimedia commons

Since newsprint is so passe, and the interwebs are dying, I'd like to see Creative Loafing be presented in a town-crier format, where the news, local restaurant reviews and "Are you Shaved?" are read aloud in public squares by folks sentenced for misdemeanors in Fulton and DeKalb.

Congrats, Steve!

The runner up, who doesn't win anything but my undying love, is Nicole Wójcik, who sent an entry that included this:

In five years, will CL have a homepage compatible with my internet-ready Acuvue Konnectd contact lenses?

Later in life, will CL ensure that I'll be able to connect to Omnivore by simply gazing into my infant's eyes during a feeding?

That is so awesome.

• Beerjobber.com

It's not easy being a craft-beer lover in Georgia. Considering the fact that we only just eight years ago raised the ABV limit, and are somehow still clawing our way out of the dark ages where stores can't sell alcohol on Sundays, small breweries understandably don't find the Peach State's borders all that hospitable. Granted, some laws are slowly getting tweaked, albeit in ways that only dubiously benefit brewers, not to mention the fact that the oppressive three-tier distribution system remains intact for the foreseeable future.

While Georgia's craft-beer selection — both local and from all over the rest of the globe — has expanded exponentially in recent years, there's still the frustration of the adventurous, variety-seeking drinker. How to try regional brews from all over the country — craft beers that don't have the reach of a SweetWater, a New Belgium or a Sierra Nevada? Enter Beerjobber, the self-described "world's first brewery fresh craft beer market," which launched in mid-February. The idea is pretty simple. You pick from Beerjobber's 30-brewery selection (about 30 more are in the process of joining the service), then the beer comes straight from each brewery's door to yours. You get to try something you can't get in your 'hood, and a brewery across the country potentially earns a new fan and a some cash. Beerjobber founder and president Sean Nevins was happy to explain further, answering a few Creative Loafing questions.

• Courtesy of Dailymail.co.uk
• Crazy bar tab

The Cavalli Club in Dubai shared an itemized receipt from one of their high rolling regulars via Twitter last week. According to the club's manager who confirmed the receipts' authenticity, the birthday group racked up over $100,000 ($108,357.80 which is 387,988 in UAE to be exact) in charges in less than two hours. Purchases on the tab include a three-liter bottle of Cavalli vodka at $1,347.70, two three-liters of Cristal at $19,058.48, and 13 Roederer Cristals at $22,935.52. And that's not all. After factoring in the 10 percent Municipality Fee and service charge of the same amount, the grand total for this night on the town was a measly $130,029.36 ... I wonder if they're hiring?

• via tnwhitewhiskey.com

"POPCORN SAYS FUCK YOU." Literally. That's what he had carved on his tombstone, well before he took his own life rather than go to the federal penitentiary at the age of 62 and in less than robust health. Popcorn Sutton was a moonshiner. A legend. A rascal. He wore a dried up raccoon dick on his ever-present hat. To say he was a character might be one of the understatements of the century. He spent his life trying to evade the law, playing cat and mouse with necessary privacy and the twisted sort of fame that comes with being an outlaw who is not necessarily camera shy. He spent his life trying to practice an art that many say he perfected, but those that actually experienced his moonshine are just a lucky few.

Quite a bit more than a few folks are now familiar with Popcorn Sutton through the (crappy, exploitative, sensationalist) show Moonshiners on Discovery, which has attracted several million viewers a week. His story was featured on the season finale, and now all those millions of viewers are on the hunt (at least the Google hunt) for Popcorn Sutton moonshine. What they'll find is that his wife (along with Hank Williams, Jr.) has taken Popcorn's blessings (and recipe) and finally gone legit, making a "white whiskey" bearing Popcorn Sutton's name that folks can buy at their local liquor store. How closely this mirrors the real thing in taste, most will never know. Popcorn did set the foundation for it, most likely to make sure his wife had something to live on, and that his legacy would live on, as well.

Can a legal bottle of whiskey possibly capture the true spirit of the type of moonshine that Popcorn Sutton made and everything that it stands for? Well... one is legit, the other is legal. I get the impression that Popcorn would not be pleased with Discovery's Moonshiners, but he also never minded getting a bit of good publicity. He may be smiling down from moonshine heaven with a big grin on his face and a loud cackle in his throat. At the same time, he's probably looking down, giving everyone - the TV network, the fans, the revenuers - the finger and singing a certain song by Cee Lo Green.

According to an e-mail that went out to customers this morning, Pearson's Wine shop in Buckhead will be closing its doors at the last chime of 2011 after 41 years in business:

The last week of this year between Christmas and New Years will be for us clean house of as much inventory as possible with prices discounted as much as 50% or more. Please come by to look for bargains and give us a chance to say goodbye to each and every one of you.

Actually, the notice went out a day too early, explained a woman who answered the phone when I called the store to confirm the news. The sale doesn't actually begin until Wednesday, but "people have been piling into the store all day" looking for bargain booze, she said.

So, is Pearson's going out of business because of increased competition? No, she said, it's because owners Walter and Dorthy Eisenberg have finally decided to retire. The economic downturn clearly didn't help, however, as a 2010 article in the Business Chronicle indicates.

Now you know where to stock up for New Year's Eve.

• fernetbranca.com

Fast forward to 2011 and the unassuming silhouette of Fernet's jade green bottle can be found anywhere from Atlanta's diviest dives to its most esteemed, high-end eateries. How did this happen? And more importantly, why are people so devoted to a spirit that tastes strongly of bitter earth, mouthwash, and herbal medicine? I asked some of the Fernet-drinking barkeeps in town why they started drinking the stuff, they all had the same answer: Greg Best.

We caught up with Best (who was featured in the Food Issue's bartender roundtable discussion) at H&F Bottleshop. He was happy to share his insights on origins of the current Fernet phenomenon:

Circa 13 years ago and before coming to Atlanta, Greg Best and Andy Minchow tended bar at Delmonico Steakhouse in Vegas. "I have to admit," says Best, "that back in those days we didn't know much about cocktails. We drank things like Captain and Coke when we went out to bars."

At Delmonico, they met Francesco Lafranconi, a well-respected bartender in the cocktail world, who became a sort of pseudo-mentor to the two men. One day they asked Lafranconi what he thought was best to drink after gorging on a huge meal like Thanksgiving dinner. "He told us that everyone in Italy drank Fernet Branca because it's an excellent digestivo," says Best.

Intrigued, Best and Minchow returned to work. Sure enough they found a bottle of Fernet hidden in plain view and covered with dust behind the bar. "We tried it and we hated it," Best admits. "But for some reason we kept drinking it and chasing it with ginger ale. After having to force those first few shots, I realized that there was something different about drinking Fernet, it gave me a kind of body buzz and I liked it." Best and Minchow decided to make Fernet their shot of choice and codified it as their bartender's handshake.

You don't have to let being broke spoil all the fun of gifting. Step away from Amazon and make your gifts this year! It's 2011, DIY gifts have evolved significantly since the days of birdhouses made out of popsicle sticks and ornaments dripping with red and green doilies. For those that tend to default to booze when it comes to the idea of gifts and celebration, here are a few homemade liqueurs/spirit infusions that are easy to make and bottle yourself, including one from bartender Miles Macquarrie of Leon's Full Service.

Doing it yourself is personal and crafty and all of your favorite drinking buddies will appreciate it a lot more than a mustache coffee mug. Ok, bad example, those mugs are pretty sweet, but you get the picture. Besides, as an added bonus you can enjoy getting your buzz on while conducting all the necessary quality assurance on your creation whatever it is you decide to make.

Bitter Chamomile Elixir by Miles Macquarrie.

Ingredients

2 cups sugar
2 cups water
1/2 cup German Chamomile (loose, not tea bags)
1 tablespoon freshly ground gentian
Benedictine (about 2 cups)

Combine sugar, water, chamomile, and gentian in a sauce pot and bring to a rapid boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes. Remove from heat, let cool and then strain through a chinois. Measure liquid and you'll add equal parts benedictine to whatever amount of liquid you have left. Ex. 16 oz bitter chamomile syrup, 16 oz Benedictine. This comes out to be 20% Alcohol (40 proof). The gentian and Benedictine make this a great Cordial to have after a meal due to their digestive properties. Chamomile and gentian can both be found at a good health food store like Sevananda or Health Unlimited.

More after the jump

• Local brewer David Stein

The young brewer has big plans for Twain's over the coming months. "First we have to finish off what’s still in the tanks," Stein says, "and then I plan to introduce all new and improved recipes to Twain’s current core line-up as quickly as possible."

Beer drinkers can look forward to Stein's fresh take on ingredients and brewing techniques. "In general, my beers will be on the progressive side, although I think that some styles need to be kept traditional." According to the budding brewmaster, "Twain's has a new barrel room so I plan on brewing some awesome, wood-aged and sour beers. This will include whiskey and rum barrel-aged beers, American wild ales, Belgian lambics and Flemish sours."

• photos.com

Atlanta and Decatur are among the cities voting next week. You can see the list of cities voting on the Georgians for Sunday alcohol sales Facebook page. As Scott Henry points out in his blog post over on Fresh Loaf, if passed, we could be buying liquor on the sabbath in Atlanta as soon as New Year's Day (which just happens to be on a Sunday).

So, get out the vote!