Pop Smart - Oscar the Souse: Your 2008 Academy Awards Drinking Game

Creative Loafing’s Oscar the Souse drinking game has been clean and sober for the past few years. Upon hearing that several of this year’s Academy Award nominees have explicit beverage-based themes, however, Oscar the Souse fell off the wagon to organize your Oscar party drinking game for Sunday night. By the end of the evening, your vision should be so blurry, the face in the Michael Clayton poster should appear to be in focus.

1) Every time someone mentions the recently completed writer’s strike, take a drink – but only if you want to pass out before they start handing out the major awards, because they’ll probably talk about the strike incessantly. You might want to narrow it down and only take a drink when a gag bombs and host Jon Stewart makes a quip like, “They returned to work for THIS?”

2) If Stewart or a presenter cracks a joke that “casts” any of the presidential candidates in a recent movie (ex. Hillary Clinton in Away from Her, John McCain in No Country for Old Men), take a drink.

3) If one of those endless panning shots of every living acting winner is shown to mark Oscar’s 80th anniversary, finish your drink and go on a beer run, because those things take forever.

4) If There Will Be Blood wins anything, drink a Kahlua milkshake.

5) If Daniel Day-Lewis wins Best Actor for There Will Be Blood, use a straw to try to drink up everyone else’s milkshake.

6) If anyone even mentions “I drink your milkshake!” from There Will Be Blood, drink a milkshake.

7) If Ellen Page wins Best Actress for Juno, drink a screwdriver made with Sunny Delight and pee on a home pregnancy test.

8) If Juno wins Best Original Screenplay, drink the Sunny Delight screwdriver and say, “It’s stripper-turned-blogger-turned-screenwriter Diablo Cody!” (Or use her real name, Brook Busey-Hunt, just to be that way.)

9) If Viggo Mortensen wins Best Actor for Eastern Promises, drink a vodka shot and brace yourself for the inevitable nude knife fight.

10) If George Clooney wins Best Actor for Michael Clayton, take a drink. In fact, even if Clooney doesn’t win anything, take a drink, because he’s more handsome, debonair, successful and funny than you could ever be. Curse you, George Clooney.