Apparently, Jay-Z doth not give a damn about the 2.6 million Illuminati conspiracy theories the Internet's been spreading 'bout him. In fact, dude must find it pretty hilarious. Why else would he dare name his forthcoming album Magna Carta Holy Grail? (If that ain't some Illuminati sounding ish, I swear.) Then, to top it off, he convinced Samsung to pay him $5 million for an album that won't be worth a free download 72 hours after Samsung uploads it for a million of its android customers. While Soundscan, Samsung, and the rest of us simps puzzle over whether or not this deal will set a good precedent, Jay-Z doesn't seem conflicted in the least.
But he's not the only artist to sell some soul to Samsung. Three days before Jay announced his Magna Carta, Atlanta's own Usher released a "short film" that doubles as a video for his song "Looking 4 Myself" and a two-and-a-half-minute commercial for Samsung's Smart TV (embedded above). On the surface, it's an action film in which Usher battles his own supersized alter-ego. "The action was a little inspired by that Will Smith movie Hancock, and also The Matrix," Usher tells Entertainment Weekly. But there's more than heroic dance moves going on here. His choreographed movements are actually promotional demos of the Smart TV's motion-controlled features. The short film/commercial has already garnered over 18 million views in four days. Depending on how high-minded or low-rent you are about this kind of stuff, it's either another bastardized marriage of art and commerce or a slick-ass, well-executed integration of music and marketing.
I'm leaning toward the latter - just in case the Bilderbergs are reading.
Despite numerous news stories that indicate otherwise and no matter how badly we want it - maybe so we don't have to go to work anymore? - the zombie apocalypse is not happening. Even the CDC says so. And they love zombie shit.
Speculation that the world was ending and we were all in imminent danger of being eaten alive, began with Rudy Eugene, the Miami man who was shot and killed by police while ravenously devouring the face of another man. In the days that followed, the media reported with marked fervor other unpleasant stories that surfaced about instances of cannibalism and similarly bizarre stuff (like that guy who threw his own intestines at police).
In a pretty gross attempt at baiting web hits and stoking the public's fear/macabre excitement, a news station in Jacksonville, Fla. posted a USA Today article about a woman who decapitated and ate parts of her infant son - even though the incident took place in 2009.
A thing everyone's been ignoring and that New York Magazine pointed out the other day, is that "People eat other people on a pretty regular basis." (They even put together handy a timeline of recent cannibalistic incidents that were pretty much ignored by the media, in the U.S. at least.)
Then there are the famous ones. Jeffrey Dahmer. Albert Fish. Of course, the obvious and most shocking difference in the Miami case - the thing that made it most zombie-esque - is that the "zombie" in question was eating an alive person. And snarled like an animal at police. And managed to eat almost an entire face before anyone stopped him. Whatever you do, don't look at the pictures.
But, really, cannibalism has always been a thing. And back in the day, Atlanta was home to its very own cannibal. Journalist and adventurer William Buehler Seabrook, who at one point worked at an ad agency in Atlanta and cut his teeth (the ones he'd later use to eat parts of a person) at the Augusta Chronicle, apparently sampled human flesh whilst living with a West African tribe in the '20s. Of course, his foray into cannibalism was scientific, and not to fulfill a sociopathic urge or as the result of a drug-fueled frenzy.
"It was like good, fully developed veal, not young, but not yet beef. It was very definitely like that, and it was not like any other meat I had ever tasted. It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitiveness could distinguish it from veal. It was mild, good meat with no other sharply defined or highly characteristic taste such as for instance, goat, high game, and pork have. The steak was slightly tougher than prime veal, a little stringy, but not too tough or stringy to be agreeably edible. The roast, from which I cut and ate a central slice, was tender, and in color, texture, smell as well as taste, strengthened my certainty that of all the meats we habitually know, veal is the one meat to which this meat is accurately comparable."
Now, back to work. And if the zombie apocalypse is actually happening, I'll be eating crow while someone's eating me.
Whatever its origin, it's all the rage in many nightclubs around the world these days.
Often scantily clad dancers writhe to music as tons of foam suds pour over them.
Most of the time it's perfectly legal fun, but Marietta Police have put out a warning to parents of underage teens who're joining in, especially girls.
"There's really a lot going on that's actually very dangerous to the kids," Marietta Police Officer David Baldwin told 11Alive News.
The word on the street, according to Baldwin, is that these decadent, sudsy soirees can sometimes attract gangs, drugs, and creepers who have no qualms about taking advantage of "partially dressed underaged girls." (Expect attendance of the latter to skyrocket after they learn, from TV news, that such parties exist.)
Bottom line, parents: Know where your teenagers party. And then wear a shiny track suit, cover your face in fluorescent dye, and meet them at the event.
CBS Atlanta was feeling pret-ty jaunty earlier this year when Rep. Ralph Long (D-Atlanta) introduced HB 678, a bill inspired by a report they aired about a local mattress manufacturer they claim they discovered was taking old, gross mattress guts, re-covering them, and selling them as though they were brand new. The bill would have required mattress manufacturers to "sterilize" parts before using them, and also to register with the state so they could be overseen.
Here's their report from when the bill was still being considered.
I lost track of this a while ago, and it turns out the bill died a quick, painful death when the House voted it down 58-88 for financial reasons. Since used mattress regulations were repealed in '96, there's basically been nothing in place to prevent mattress manufacturers and refurbishers from using old, potentially dangerous — moldy, flammable — materials and not saying anything. And even if you're, like, well, I'd never be dumb enough to buy a mattress from a janky-ass company like this, keep in mind that they supply to hotels, dorms, and hospitals. And they have the potential to transmit bed bugs. Sleep tight!
RIP HB 678. And everyone who buys a mattress in Georgia.
"Some people think I'm nuts, but I'm just AK  & chicken crazy," Andrew Wordes, Roswell's "Chicken Man," wrote on an online forum for backyard chicken owners. For years, Wordes fought the city of Roswell to defend his right to have about 100 chickens on his property, and ran into plenty of legal trouble in the process. He also fell behind on his mortgage.
Today, Wordes was going to be evicted from his home. Then something crazy happened.
Apparently, when marshals arrived at Wordes' home to kick him out this afternoon, Wordes got on the phone with a WSBTV reporter and said "I can't tell you [what's going to happen], but it ain't going to be pretty." Seconds later, Wordes' house exploded. WSBTV says the Roswell Fire Department has confirmed that there was a body in the house, but didn't say whether it was Wordes.
Wordes' Facebook page — on which he calls himself "Andrew AKfortyseven Wordes" — is telling. His political views: "Ex-llfelong RNC member who has seen the light. You could now say I am a strict Constitutional Conservative. I believe in G*d, Guns and The U.S. Constitution. My G*d and my guns will make sure the Constitution is obeyed." Among his favorite quotes: "Sometimes I think violence is underrated."
More details as police release them.
For the first time in its 123-year history, the Georgia Capitol is lined by fencing.
Black fences now box in the area where protesters have traditionally gathered to rally over issues such as the death penalty, immigration, and even Sunday alcohol sales, and the lawns along Washington Street near the Gold Dome's western entrance.
The fences — which were installed in December by the Georgia Building Authority, the agency which oversees the state's real estate portfolio — now surround the main statue of Thomas Watson, the former Georgia politician who ran for president in 1908 on a white-supremacy platform. Now you must walk between two fences to reach the Capitol's entrance. Visitors must also stand behind a fence in front of the Watson statue to read the plaque that declares the former politician "A champion of right who never faltered in the cause."
"That is where the gathering place is and it is the front door of the Capitol," a GBA spokeswoman said. "When groups gather we have used traditional barricades which are not attractive. We wanted to enhance our ability to provide for public safety but in a more attractive fashion." She added that the only permanent fences were located in front of the flowerbeds and that other fences could be moved.
Timothy Franzen of Occupy Atlanta sees the motivation for the fences differently. In an e-mail to CL he called the fence "a direct response [to] the public's general discontent with the government.
He continued: "It's a shame that our state is building fences out of fear instead of addressing peoples' general discontent with a political system that year after year gives privilege to those that need it least at the cost of those that need it most."
The Midtown Ponce Security Alliance reports that around 2 a.m. yesterday morning (March 19), two armed men in a dark SUV — one of whom was carrying an AK-47 — robbed a couple of pedestrians near the intersection of 10th Street and Piedmont Avenue in Midtown.
Here's what happened ...
During the 2am hour on March 19th, APD responded to the location of a pedestrian robbery by gunpoint. There the two victims reported to police that a black SUV pulled up as they were standing outside of a restaurant at 10th & Piedmont. According to the victims, the first suspect stepped out of the vehicle and demanded their money and cellphones at gunpoint.
Stunned, the victims asked the offender if they were serious. At that point a second suspect exited the vehicle with an AK47 and reiterated the demand to hand over money and cellphone. After complying with their demands, they handed over wallets and cellphone and watched the offending vehicle speed east on 10th Street.he first suspect is a heavy-set black male in his mid 20's, around 5'7 in height, wearing black clothing and a dark & checkered bandana covering his face. The second suspect, with the AK47, also covered his face (no further description offered in police report).
A credit card belonging to one of the victims was used at a nearby Exxon station to buy $64 in gas not long after the robbery. Unfortunately, the person on duty at the time wasn't capable of supplying police with the security camera footage.
I've contacted police to double check, but MPSA says no arrests have been made as yet.
Ever wonder what it would look like if Irish eyes could really smile? How about if Irish eyes could tear apart your happiest memories with their teeth, masticate your soul and/or spit on your grave? No? Huh. Well, you're about to find out anyway, thanks to whoever made this minute-long commercial for Atlanta's St. Paddy's Day Parade. I promise you won't look like this after you watch it.
Sorry if there are errors in this post, but it's difficult to blog whilst genuflecting.
Join me, dear reader, in welcoming our new King, New Birth Baptist Church bishop and gay-sex-scandal-haver Eddie Long. See, a Rabbi named Ralph Messer came to New Birth last Sunday, gave Long some holocaust scrolls, had his underlings hoist him in the air, and declared him king. Sound confusing? IT IS.
This video is 14 minutes long. If you have 14 minutes, I recommend watching the whole thing. Otherwise, fast forward to the five minute mark (roughly) and try to wrap your mind around what's happening/why so many people go to this church if this is what goes on there/etc.
Because my Sunday mornings are reserved for witchcraft, Satan™ worship and occasionally performing puppet shows for sick children at a local hospital (don't worry, you've never heard of it), I don't attend church with any regularity. But, this isn't normal, right?
ATLANTA, Ga. — When will Jesus return to Earth? It’s a question that has haunted believers for centuries, especially because popular teaching says that only God is privy to this information. Several years ago, Robert Jackson, a devout Christian, decided it was time for an in-depth discussion of what Scripture says in answer to this question.
After practicing his family tradition of studying Bible prophecy for more than six decades, Jackson put his knowledge of the Scripture to paper in his new prophetic book, "Jesus — When is He Coming?" The book thoroughly examines Bible prophecies and examples, as well as other popular beliefs, to reveal when Scripture indicates Jesus will return.
Here's a thought, Robert Y. Jackson: What if Jesus wanted this to be a secret? Like, he's spent YEARS planning this really cool party for us and you're the big blabber mouth who ruins the surprise, so now when he switches on the lights and jumps out from behind the sofa, we're all going to have to flinch and act like it was all so unexpected. I'm already so annoyed for him.
Jackson pooh-poohs this idea (shoutily):
[Jesus] spoke of His return saying, "But of the day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, NOR THE SON, but only the Father." (Mark 13: 32). That indeed was true at the time Jesus said it; however, shortly after His resurrection He said something else that changed the situation concerning the knowledge of His return. He then said, "ALL AUTHORITY has been given to Me in heaven and on earth." (Matthew 28: 18). Since Jesus now has ALL AUTHORITY in heaven and earth, it's inconceivable that He Himself no longer knows when He will come for His church ... BELIEVERS ARE NOT IN DARKNESS ABOUT WHEN JESUS IS COMING. His return doesn't have to be a surprise to His Church.
AH. OK. So one of you guys buy and read this (only $7.99 for the ebook!) and let me know when I can expect Jesus. Just so I can straighten up the apartment and stuff.
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