Here's a window into the mind of pizzaman-turned-presidential candidate-turned-person who won't go away Herman Cain. That's too vague. Here's a commercial commissioned by Herman Cain in which an airborne, CGI bunny gets shot with a skeet gun because that's what taxes are or something. It was almost certainly directed by the person who made Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" video. Or the opening sequence of "Criss Angel's Mindfreak."

While it was trying to determine which Republican presidential candidate is likely to win delegates in the country's two most backward states, an outfit called Public Policy Polling went ahead and asked Mississippians and Alabamans what they think about the legality of interracial marriage, President Obama's religion, and that Darwin guy.

The results are more frightening than you might've guessed:

• In Mississippi only 12% of GOP voters think Obama's a Christian to 52% who think he's a Muslim and 36% who are not sure.

• In Alabama just 14% think Obama's a Christian to 45% who think he's a Muslim and 41% who aren't sure.

Tellingly, among Mississippi voters who believe the president is devotee of Islam, Newt Gingrich leads the GOP pack with a solid 39 percent.

And where does the theory of evolution stand among Republican voters?

• In Alabama only 26% of voters believe in it, while 60% do not.

• In Mississippi just 22% believe in it, while 66% do not.

Not surprisingly, among the wingnuts who don't believe in natural selection, Santorum and Gingrich are running neck-and-neck for the lead.

So, is there any good news? Kind of… According to PPP:

Alabama's pretty much on board with interracial marriage, with 67% of voters thinking it should be legal to 21% who think it should not be. There's still some skepticism in Mississippi though- only 54% of voters think it should be legal, while 29% believe it should be illegal. Newt cleans up with the 'interracial marriage should be illegal' crowd in both states.

Frankly, instead of spending all this money to build a wall along the Mexican border, how 'bout we build it between us and Alabama?

Word problems are the bane of every child's existence (unless they're NERDS, amirite?). Besides being mathy, the imagined narratives within tend to be stupid and impossible to relate to. As Lisa Kudrow's character puts it in the modern classic Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, "Like, there's a guy in a rowboat going X miles, and the current is going like, you know, some other miles, and how long does it take him to get to town? It's like, 'Who cares? Who wants to go to town with a guy who drives a rowboat?'"

If educators are going to reach students in the era of video games, the Internet and hula hoops, they have to build their math lessons around topics that really speak to today's youth ... like slavery.

Christopher Braxton, whose 8-year-old son attends Beaver Ridge Elementary School in Norcross, told WSBTV that his kid came home with math homework straight out of the Antebellum era:

The question read, "Each tree had 56 oranges. If eight slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?"

Another math problem read, "If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in one week?"

Another question asked how many baskets of cotton Frederick filled.

A spokeswoman for the Gwinnett County School District — whose name is Sloan Roach, by the way — explained that the questions were part of a "cross-curricular activity" that would blend math with social studies.

To play devil's advocate here, kids shouldn't be sheltered from the abhorrent aspects of American history — you know what they say about being doomed to repeat history — but it would seem prudent to offer a little context and maybe some degree of gravity. So, yeah, teaching kids to multiply by calculating slave beatings probably isn't the best way to go about it.

At its best, Chick-fil-A's "Eat Mor Chikin" campaign makes us wonder why cows can learn the Roman alphabet, but can't quite figure out how to spell. At its worst, its heavy hooves trample over anyone else's right to use the words "Eat more" — even when it's spelled correctly — in any way, shape or form.

Take Montpelier-based folk artist Bo Muller-Moore, who operates the website eatmorekale.com, on which he sells T-shirts and stickers emblazoned with the "Eat More Kale" logo he designed 11 years ago.

Six years after he began operating the website, Chick-fil-A got on his case, and filed a cease and desist order because eatmorekale.com was too similar to their totally retarded eatmorchikin.com. Muller-Moore refused to stop selling his stickers and T-shirts, but the saga continues. According to Vermont alt-weekly Seven Days, in September, Chick-fil-A used its corporate clout to block Muller-Moore from registering a federal trademark for "Eat More Kale."

Seven Days put the situation into perspective by pointing out that Chick-fil-A has around 1,500 locations, sells 537 chicken sandwiches a minute and reported $3.58 BILLION in sales in 2010. Muller-Moore wouldn't get into numbers, but said he sells "markedly fewer" T-shirts than Chick-fil-A sells sandwiches, and has never made enough money from the website or logo to support himself completely.

"This is legitimate David-versus-Goliath corporate bullying," Muller-Moore told Seven Days. "I'm not a restaurant. I'm not a kale farmer. I'm a T-shirt artist."

REALLY. How big an effect could eatmorekale.com possibly be having on Chick-fil-A's bottom line? Not nearly as much as being closed on Sundays, I'll bet.

See, the party — a costume party, no less — is called "PocaHotAss," which might have been cute and punny if it wasn't for the fact that ONE IN THREE Native American women living on reservations will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes (not to mention that something like 70 percent of those assaults go unsolved).

Duly offended, people from all over the country voiced their distaste for event's name and theme on Bedlam's Facebook page, and even formed a Facebook group called "Offensive Parties Suck!!!!" Dissenters, including Jesse Clark of the Historic District Development Corporation — who said the party "objectifies and mocks the culture of Native American women" — reached out to the promoters, sponsors and, most recently, Mood.

Clark says two sponsors — Whynatte? and Pinnacle Vodka — withdrew their support. Then yesterday evening, after some initial resistance, Bedlam decided to cancel the party.

Barry Brandon, one of Bedlam's promoters, told CL, "The reason we decided to cancel the party is that the saying 'perception is reality' rang true in our heads. You start having people say, 'You don’t get it — this is racist.' And since that’s their perception, then it is."

And it's not the first time one of their costume parties was declared offensive. Brandon says back in March, people freaked when they threw a party called "Derelicte" — the "homeless chic" fashion line from the Ben Stiller movie "Zoolander" — because it was insensitive to the homeless. They didn't cancel that one.

• Hand on the chin for the win

No, we're not talking about convicted murderer Troy Davis, but about accused child molester Ed Kramer.

You might think that Kramer's getting caught with a little boy in an out-of-state hotel room would have served to disillusion even his most ardent apologists. Actually, not so much. In fact, the incident has apparently served only to spur a couple of them to revive a moribund blog pithily titled Free Ed.

Here's how they spin his latest run-in with the law:

The concept of a child living in a motel room that also contains an adult is a reasonably common scenario repeated every week in every state in the US. This probably occurred over a million times on different days and different cities in the US last year alone. And there is nothing criminal about it. Even without supporting statistics, anyone would agree it certainly had happened hundreds of thousands of times.

The reasoning for a child being in a motel room can be the parents and friends being on vacation, a state of homelessness requiring temporary shelter, work conditions away from home, or any of many other reasons, none of which are criminal in the least.

Unfortunately, they seem to have forgotten that the object of their rationalizations was under court order to have no contact with minors, since he's supposed to be awaiting trial for allegedly molesting three of them.

Sigh. Anyway, given these folks' chutzpah and logical contortions, I shouldn't be surprised if they were offered jobs as political analysts on Fox News.

• Georgia Department of Revenue
• Wanna support the Appalachian Trail Conservancy? Don't bother buying their tag.

But, how much — if any — of the $35 annual fee for specialty tags actually goes to the organization represented on the plate? That depends.

On the Georgia Department of Revenue's website there's a complete list of plate samples, each of which is accompanied by a breakdown of where the annual fees are going. In most cases, the majority of the money goes not to the cause, but to the state's general treasury. In others, none of the money goes to the sponsoring organization.

Groups including Rotary International, the Appalachian Trail Conservancy, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority and the Atlanta Gator Club get no money from the purchase and renewal of their respective specialty tags.

Most groups — Children's Healthcare of Atlanta, Choose Life Georgia, the Dog and Cat Sterilization Fund, Sons of Confederate Veterans, Zoo Atlanta, Georgia Sea Turtle Center and the Georgia Aquarium — get just $10 of the $35.

In a very few cases, MOST of the $35 annual fee goes to the cause. For instance, $22 of the $35 renewal fee for a Breast Cancer Awareness tag go toward breast cancer services for indigent women. Share the Road-Bicycle Safety plates contribute $22 of the $35 to the Governor's Highway Safety Program.

(H/T to Fresh Loaf commenter InAtl.)